Here are some tips for you..........
Some single people find themselves toiling hard, really hard to make love happen. Consider the case of Toni Larusso of New York. She put intense effort into making a guy her exclusive boyfriend. "I was crazy about him," she recalls. "I changed my work schedule, dropped most of my friends. They begged me to quit seeing him and their concern helped me realize what I'd gotten myself into. Now that I'm over him, I'm trying to figure out why I wasted so much effort on someone who didn't reciprocate."
Like Toni, many of us are guilty of laboring for love. We try too hard to make things work with someone who's unworthy—or just plain uninterested. We accept things we otherwise wouldn't want to and turn a blind eye to egregious flaws and foibles in our relationships. But we don't have to keep doing it.
Get Real: "The first thing you can do is to become honest with yourself and raise your self-esteem," counsels Sonia Choquette, author of Trust Your Vibes. "Somewhere along the way, you came to wrongly believe that you are not OK and are accepting poor behavior from others or are aligning with those who have nothing to offer because of your weak self-image." That's the root problem. "If you are in the habit of being with the wrong person, take a break from dating and fall in love with yourself," she suggests. "Do for yourself all the things you tend to do for the other. Give yourself gifts, take yourself to lunch or dinner, and give yourself statements of appreciation." Recognize your talents when you do a good job or when you're a good friend. You may also want to seek the services of a therapist or counselor if these little pick-me-ups don't work. "The key to getting what we deserve is to know that the first place to look is within ourselves," she says. "No one will treat you better than you are willing to treat yourself. If you criticize yourself, never speak up, don't ask for what you need, or are in the habit of over-giving in order to manipulate others, all relationships you have will show signs of strain."
Question whether to pursue: Does this mean you have to stop going after a certain someone or break off a budding relationship ASAP? "Not necessarily," says clinical social worker Helen King. "Once you have a realistic assessment of the relationship, decide if you are really with the person you want." Then figure out if the person is willing to work with you to make things better. "If you stop working so hard, you may allow your date to step up and participate," she notes. "If you don't give the person the chance, you may never know how invested he or she is." If you think your behavior may have entered the realm of working way too hard, King suggests answering these questions for yourself:
• How is the rest of my life affected by this situation?
• Am I losing sleep or not taking care of myself?
• Is my work suffering?
• Am I ignoring friends?
If you have some answers that indicate that your approach to dating is detrimental, King notes, "you may need to step back from the romance."
Stay the course: But how can you make sure you don't step into a negative situation again with the next person you date? "Knowing that we each deserve to be in happy, loving, mutually supportive relationships is the key to not repeating the mistakes of the past," King says. "Learning from each romantic experience, building upon the positive aspects, and getting out of situations that repeat the negative, will ensure that the next relationship is closer to what you are looking for." To do that, think hard about what you need and the type of person you want. Then, King says, "commit to yourself and a buddy who can help you stay on track. "As you date, you will continue to check in with yourself and your support [person], to ensure that what you said you wanted and who you are with match, at least on the important things," she notes. "Don't stay in a budding romance because you fear being alone or failing. Listen to your heart and your inner self; they will lead you on the right path."
Sound off: Chime in on a thread where Boomers are sharing the joys of independence… Freelance writer Margot Carmichael Lester labored and lost in several relationships before getting it right. Her advice appears in the anthologies How to Survive Your Marriage and How to Survive Your Divorce.
NB: This is for single and searching like me that keep asking themselves what the hell is going on and y they dont have someone............Please note that these are TIPS!!! U dont have to go by them.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Eight Dating Lines Decoded
It's no secret that the language of love isn't always the most, well, direct. That's why so many single people spend hours analyzing emails from dates trying to figure out if "I'm busy at work" is a brush-off, or wondering whether that invitation of "I'll make dinner for you" indicates a desire to share a whole lot more than a favorite garlic chicken recipe.
How can you suss out what someone's really trying to say? To help you out, we got a bevy of dating experts to decode eight common lines so you'll spend less time scratching your head and more time communicating.
Line: "I'd love to stay out, but I have to get up really early tomorrow."
What it means: "Sorry, you just aren't floating my boat."
Of course, if it's 2 a.m. or your date follows up with, "But let's get together soon—maybe this weekend?" the fact that he or she want to end the date is no big deal. But if the night is young or your date mentions an aversion to staying out late in the middle of, say, appetizers, that's not a good sign. Your date may sense there's no connection and want to exit sooner rather than later, says Steve Nakamoto, author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching A Man. At least look at the upside: This person's also freeing you from a situation that's not going anywhere, so just enjoy your dinner, then skedaddle.
Line: "I had such a good time with you."
What it means: "Wow, you're actually fun and different from all the other guys/girls!"
This sentence might sound generic, but try saying it out loud: It sounds far more intense than a mere "I had a nice night," doesn't it? "This is a way of revealing how you feel without getting too heavy," says Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. "The person is letting you know that he or she really might like you, and trying to find out if you possibly feel the same." So if the interest is mutual, let your date know by responding in kind.
Line: "I'm just not ready for a relationship."
What it means: "I'm just not in love with you."
It's hard when someone you like tells you he or she's not in a place to seriously date anyone. But it also makes you hope that the problem is timing, not your personalities. If you can just be patient, you think, things could percolate, right? Wrong. "This means 'I don't love you, so if that's what you want, we should break up,'" says Puhn. Don't be fooled—when this person does meet someone who has that spark, he or she will indeed be ready for a relationship.
Line: "I'd love to meet up, but I'm just really busy with work right now."
What it means: "I'm trying to think of a really nice way to blow you off."
Of course, this person could very well have a full schedule that week. But if he or she doesn't offer any alternative dates to hang out, what you're really being told is that this person would rather work than hang out with you. (Sorry.) "Your date very well could be busy. The question is whether your date's focusing on the problem or finding a solution," says Puhn. "You can always get away long enough for dinner or a drink with someone or say, 'I'm going to call you in two weeks after this project is done.' It's a matter of priorities." So if your date isn't trying to pencil you in, it could be time to write that person off.
Line: "So, gotten any funny emails on Match.com lately?"
What it means: "Are you interested in seeing each other exclusively?"
Let's face it, it's intimidating to ask: "So are you seeing anyone else?" And with online dating, there's a sneakier way to put out feelers: By asking a question that reveals whether someone's been checking his or her Match.com account for new suitors. "In online dating, you can receive flirtatious emails 24/7, so leaving your profile up sends a message that you're still open to other prospects," says Nakamoto. So if your date's asking anything about your online activities, it's probably a sign he or she might pop the "So... do you want to see each other exclusively?" question soon.
Line: "So, want to meet for coffee?"
What it means: "Want to meet for a coffee and then have dinner if we like each other?"
It's always smart to schedule a short, easy-to-end date when you're first meeting a new person. "Committing to a dinner with someone new can seem like too much for a person who doesn't want to get stuck at a table for hours if things aren't clicking," explains Puhn. Still, many online daters will leave the ensuing hours free in case you two hit it off. That doesn't mean you should head to your rendezvous with overly high expectations and an empty stomach. If you're hungry, eat already. If you end up wanting to prolong the fun on your date, you can always suggest going for dessert or a drink.
Line: "I'm meeting my friends for a drink—want to come?"
What it means: "I really like you and want to know if you get along with my pals."
It may sound like a casual invite, but what your date is saying is that he or she is totally comfortable being seen with you as a couple—and is interested in how you'll relate to his or her closest comrades. "Meeting the friends is an approval thing," says Nakamoto. "Women want to see how he treats their friends, and men want to know if his friends like the girl." It may seem intimidating, but it should actually boost your ego: You've passed the first tests and are now on your way to becoming a full-time boyfriend or girlfriend—provided the buddies sign off. If you're feeling just as positive about the relationship, say "Yes," and charm away.
Line: "Why don't you come over and I'll cook for you?"
What it means: "Ready to get physical?"
Cooking for a person is a show of intimacy in a couple of ways. "The person is really inviting you into his or her life," says Puhn. "Someone's apartment is their whole world, so they're obviously very comfortable with you." Then, of course, there's the fact that you'll conveniently be just a few steps from the couch—and the bedroom —later that night. If it's a first or early date, this might actually be a bit too personal, especially if you're not sure how you feel about your future together. But if you're pretty sure you're ready to explore things further, congratulations, tonight could be the night!
Sound off: Tell us about the best and worst dating lines that you've encountered. New York City freelance writer Laura Gilbert has written for Health, Stuff, Maxim, The Knot and other publications.
How can you suss out what someone's really trying to say? To help you out, we got a bevy of dating experts to decode eight common lines so you'll spend less time scratching your head and more time communicating.
Line: "I'd love to stay out, but I have to get up really early tomorrow."
What it means: "Sorry, you just aren't floating my boat."
Of course, if it's 2 a.m. or your date follows up with, "But let's get together soon—maybe this weekend?" the fact that he or she want to end the date is no big deal. But if the night is young or your date mentions an aversion to staying out late in the middle of, say, appetizers, that's not a good sign. Your date may sense there's no connection and want to exit sooner rather than later, says Steve Nakamoto, author of Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching A Man. At least look at the upside: This person's also freeing you from a situation that's not going anywhere, so just enjoy your dinner, then skedaddle.
Line: "I had such a good time with you."
What it means: "Wow, you're actually fun and different from all the other guys/girls!"
This sentence might sound generic, but try saying it out loud: It sounds far more intense than a mere "I had a nice night," doesn't it? "This is a way of revealing how you feel without getting too heavy," says Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. "The person is letting you know that he or she really might like you, and trying to find out if you possibly feel the same." So if the interest is mutual, let your date know by responding in kind.
Line: "I'm just not ready for a relationship."
What it means: "I'm just not in love with you."
It's hard when someone you like tells you he or she's not in a place to seriously date anyone. But it also makes you hope that the problem is timing, not your personalities. If you can just be patient, you think, things could percolate, right? Wrong. "This means 'I don't love you, so if that's what you want, we should break up,'" says Puhn. Don't be fooled—when this person does meet someone who has that spark, he or she will indeed be ready for a relationship.
Line: "I'd love to meet up, but I'm just really busy with work right now."
What it means: "I'm trying to think of a really nice way to blow you off."
Of course, this person could very well have a full schedule that week. But if he or she doesn't offer any alternative dates to hang out, what you're really being told is that this person would rather work than hang out with you. (Sorry.) "Your date very well could be busy. The question is whether your date's focusing on the problem or finding a solution," says Puhn. "You can always get away long enough for dinner or a drink with someone or say, 'I'm going to call you in two weeks after this project is done.' It's a matter of priorities." So if your date isn't trying to pencil you in, it could be time to write that person off.
Line: "So, gotten any funny emails on Match.com lately?"
What it means: "Are you interested in seeing each other exclusively?"
Let's face it, it's intimidating to ask: "So are you seeing anyone else?" And with online dating, there's a sneakier way to put out feelers: By asking a question that reveals whether someone's been checking his or her Match.com account for new suitors. "In online dating, you can receive flirtatious emails 24/7, so leaving your profile up sends a message that you're still open to other prospects," says Nakamoto. So if your date's asking anything about your online activities, it's probably a sign he or she might pop the "So... do you want to see each other exclusively?" question soon.
Line: "So, want to meet for coffee?"
What it means: "Want to meet for a coffee and then have dinner if we like each other?"
It's always smart to schedule a short, easy-to-end date when you're first meeting a new person. "Committing to a dinner with someone new can seem like too much for a person who doesn't want to get stuck at a table for hours if things aren't clicking," explains Puhn. Still, many online daters will leave the ensuing hours free in case you two hit it off. That doesn't mean you should head to your rendezvous with overly high expectations and an empty stomach. If you're hungry, eat already. If you end up wanting to prolong the fun on your date, you can always suggest going for dessert or a drink.
Line: "I'm meeting my friends for a drink—want to come?"
What it means: "I really like you and want to know if you get along with my pals."
It may sound like a casual invite, but what your date is saying is that he or she is totally comfortable being seen with you as a couple—and is interested in how you'll relate to his or her closest comrades. "Meeting the friends is an approval thing," says Nakamoto. "Women want to see how he treats their friends, and men want to know if his friends like the girl." It may seem intimidating, but it should actually boost your ego: You've passed the first tests and are now on your way to becoming a full-time boyfriend or girlfriend—provided the buddies sign off. If you're feeling just as positive about the relationship, say "Yes," and charm away.
Line: "Why don't you come over and I'll cook for you?"
What it means: "Ready to get physical?"
Cooking for a person is a show of intimacy in a couple of ways. "The person is really inviting you into his or her life," says Puhn. "Someone's apartment is their whole world, so they're obviously very comfortable with you." Then, of course, there's the fact that you'll conveniently be just a few steps from the couch—and the bedroom —later that night. If it's a first or early date, this might actually be a bit too personal, especially if you're not sure how you feel about your future together. But if you're pretty sure you're ready to explore things further, congratulations, tonight could be the night!
Sound off: Tell us about the best and worst dating lines that you've encountered. New York City freelance writer Laura Gilbert has written for Health, Stuff, Maxim, The Knot and other publications.
Friday, October 19, 2007
For all subordinates
Here's an excerpt:
Boss-to-English Translator: What your boss says and what he really means
Do you ever feel a trip to your boss's office is like a trip to a foreign country? Nice view, but no speaka dee English? In order to ensure that none of the buck passing, put- downing, or one- upping is lost in translation, make sure to bring along this cheat sheet so you know what the big enchilada is really trying to say.
"Great job on the report!"
Translation: "I'm taking credit for your work."
"I have to attend an off-site meeting."
Translation: "I'm having an affair."
"Let me give you some broadstroke ideas and you can fill in the rest."
Translation: "I still haven't learned how to create an Excel document."
"Headquarters has assured me we will not be affected by the merger."
Translation: "You are going to be fired."
"I'm not sure if what you are suggesting is in alignment with our core competencies."
Translation: "What exactly do we do again?"
"This office is a family and my door is always open if you ever need to powwow with Papa Bear."
Translation: "I am a tool."
"I'll be out of the office for a couple hours with senior management, but you can reach me on my mobile."
Translation: "I'm playing golf."
"I'll be off-site and unreachable for the rest of the afternoon."
Translation: "I'm playing golf and I expect to be very, very drunk."
"I think we should order in some lunch for the team."
Translation: "None of you are getting a raise. Enjoy your pizza."
"I don't want to have to micromanage this whole operation!"
Translation: "I'm the boss because I made good business contacts at my Ivy League university; I don't know how to actually do things."
"This came down from up top."
Translation: "I have no real power."
"I can't give you an answer at this moment. Let me survey the situation and see what we can leverage out of it."
Translation: "Oh God, I wish I was still in sales!"
"It's good to see you take such bold initiative!"
Translation: "You are a threat to me. You will be fired the next time we so much as run out of coffee."
"I'll think about it."
Translation: "I'll tell you no in an e-mail, long after I've left the office."
"Did you finish those projections I asked you about on Friday?"
Translation: "I completely forgot to ask you about the projections on Friday, and I'm hoping your memory is even worse than mine."
"This is a very sensitive issue."
Translation: "I may need you to shred some documents."
"Let's push the boundaries on this one. We need something really innovative! Throw out the conventions, I want something edgy!"
Translation: "Present only safe, traditional ideas to me. I wouldn't know what to do with innovation if my life depended on it."
"We're going to be pulling some long hours and I'll be right here with the rest of you."
Translation: "My home life is miserable."
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news."
Translation: "Disappointing you is the only pleasure I have left in my dead-end, crappy job."
Boss-to-English Translator: What your boss says and what he really means
Do you ever feel a trip to your boss's office is like a trip to a foreign country? Nice view, but no speaka dee English? In order to ensure that none of the buck passing, put- downing, or one- upping is lost in translation, make sure to bring along this cheat sheet so you know what the big enchilada is really trying to say.
"Great job on the report!"
Translation: "I'm taking credit for your work."
"I have to attend an off-site meeting."
Translation: "I'm having an affair."
"Let me give you some broadstroke ideas and you can fill in the rest."
Translation: "I still haven't learned how to create an Excel document."
"Headquarters has assured me we will not be affected by the merger."
Translation: "You are going to be fired."
"I'm not sure if what you are suggesting is in alignment with our core competencies."
Translation: "What exactly do we do again?"
"This office is a family and my door is always open if you ever need to powwow with Papa Bear."
Translation: "I am a tool."
"I'll be out of the office for a couple hours with senior management, but you can reach me on my mobile."
Translation: "I'm playing golf."
"I'll be off-site and unreachable for the rest of the afternoon."
Translation: "I'm playing golf and I expect to be very, very drunk."
"I think we should order in some lunch for the team."
Translation: "None of you are getting a raise. Enjoy your pizza."
"I don't want to have to micromanage this whole operation!"
Translation: "I'm the boss because I made good business contacts at my Ivy League university; I don't know how to actually do things."
"This came down from up top."
Translation: "I have no real power."
"I can't give you an answer at this moment. Let me survey the situation and see what we can leverage out of it."
Translation: "Oh God, I wish I was still in sales!"
"It's good to see you take such bold initiative!"
Translation: "You are a threat to me. You will be fired the next time we so much as run out of coffee."
"I'll think about it."
Translation: "I'll tell you no in an e-mail, long after I've left the office."
"Did you finish those projections I asked you about on Friday?"
Translation: "I completely forgot to ask you about the projections on Friday, and I'm hoping your memory is even worse than mine."
"This is a very sensitive issue."
Translation: "I may need you to shred some documents."
"Let's push the boundaries on this one. We need something really innovative! Throw out the conventions, I want something edgy!"
Translation: "Present only safe, traditional ideas to me. I wouldn't know what to do with innovation if my life depended on it."
"We're going to be pulling some long hours and I'll be right here with the rest of you."
Translation: "My home life is miserable."
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news."
Translation: "Disappointing you is the only pleasure I have left in my dead-end, crappy job."
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
10 things you didnt know about you
10. Your Stomach Secretes Corrosive Acid:
There's one dangerous liquid no airport security can confiscate from you: It's in your gut. Your stomach cells secrete hydrochloric acid, a corrosive compound used to treat metals in the industrial world. It can pickle steel, but mucous lining the stomach wall keeps this poisonous liquid safely in the digestive system, breaking down lunch.
9. Body Position Affects Your Memory:
Can't remember your anniversary, hubby? Try getting down on one knee. Memories are highly embodied in our senses. A scent or sound may evoke a distant episode from one's childhood. The connections can be obvious (a bicycle bell makes you remember your old paper route) or inscrutable. A recent study helps decipher some of this embodiment. An article in the January 2007 issue of Cognition reports that episodes from your past are remembered faster and better while in a body position similar to the pose struck during the event.
8. Bones Break (Down) to Balance Minerals:
In addition to supporting the bag of organs and muscles that is our body, bones help regulate our calcium levels. Bones contain both phosphorus and calcium, the latter of which is needed by muscles and nerves. If the element is in short supply, certain hormones will cause bones to break downeupping calcium levels in the bodyeuntil the appropriate extracellular concentration is reached.
7. Much of a Meal is Food For Thought:
Though it makes up only 2 percent of our total body weight, the brain demands 20 percent of the body's oxygen and calories. To keep our noggin well-stocked with resources, three major cerebral arteries are constantly pumping in oxygen. A blockage or break in one of them starves brain cells of the energy they require to function, impairing the functions controlled by that region. This is a stroke.
6. Thousands of Eggs Unused by Ovaries:
When a woman reaches her late 40s or early 50s, the monthly menstrual cycle that controls her hormone levels and readies ova for insemination ceases. Her ovaries have been producing less and less estrogen, inciting physical and emotional changes across her body. Her underdeveloped egg follicles begin to fail to release ova as regularly as before. The average adolescent girl has 34,000 underdeveloped egg follicles, although only 350 or so mature during her life (at the rate of about one per month). The unused egg follicles then deteriorate. With no potential pregnancy on the horizon, the brain can stop managing the release of ova.
5. Puberty Reshapes Brain Structure, Makes for Missed Curfews:
We know that hormone-fueled changes in the body are necessary to encourage growth and ready the body for reproduction. But why is adolescence so emotionally unpleasant? Hormones like testosterone actually influence the development of neurons in the brain, and the changes made to brain structure have many behavioral consequences. Expect emotional awkwardness, apathy and poor decision-making skills as regions in the frontal cortex mature.
4. Cell Hairs Move Mucus:
Most cells in our bodies sport hair-like organelles called cilia that help out with a variety of functions, from digestion to hearing. In the nose, cilia help to drain mucus from the nasal cavity down to the throat. Cold weather slows down the draining process, causing a mucus backup that can leave you with snotty sleeves. Swollen nasal membranes or condensation can also cause a stuffed schnozzle.
3. Big Brains Cause Cramped Mouths:
Evolution isn't perfect. If it were, we might have wings instead of wisdom teeth. Sometimes useless features stick around in a species simply because they're not doing much harm. But wisdom teeth weren't always a cash crop for oral surgeons. Long ago, they served as a useful third set of meat-mashing molars. But as our brains grew our jawbone structure changed, leaving us with expensively overcrowded mouths.
2. The World Laughs with You:
Just as watching someone yawn can induce the behavior in yourself, recent evidence suggests that laughter is a social cue for mimicry. Hearing a laugh actually stimulates the brain region associated with facial movements. Mimicry plays an important role in social interaction. Cues like sneezing, laughing, crying and yawning may be ways of creating strong social bonds within a group.
1. Your Skin Has Four Colors:
All skin, without coloring, would appear creamy white. Near-surface blood vessels add a blush of red. A yellow pigment also tints the canvas. Lastly, sepia-toned melanin, created in response to ultraviolet rays, appears black in large amounts. These four hues mix in different proportions to create the skin colors of all the peoples of Earth.
There's one dangerous liquid no airport security can confiscate from you: It's in your gut. Your stomach cells secrete hydrochloric acid, a corrosive compound used to treat metals in the industrial world. It can pickle steel, but mucous lining the stomach wall keeps this poisonous liquid safely in the digestive system, breaking down lunch.
9. Body Position Affects Your Memory:
Can't remember your anniversary, hubby? Try getting down on one knee. Memories are highly embodied in our senses. A scent or sound may evoke a distant episode from one's childhood. The connections can be obvious (a bicycle bell makes you remember your old paper route) or inscrutable. A recent study helps decipher some of this embodiment. An article in the January 2007 issue of Cognition reports that episodes from your past are remembered faster and better while in a body position similar to the pose struck during the event.
8. Bones Break (Down) to Balance Minerals:
In addition to supporting the bag of organs and muscles that is our body, bones help regulate our calcium levels. Bones contain both phosphorus and calcium, the latter of which is needed by muscles and nerves. If the element is in short supply, certain hormones will cause bones to break downeupping calcium levels in the bodyeuntil the appropriate extracellular concentration is reached.
7. Much of a Meal is Food For Thought:
Though it makes up only 2 percent of our total body weight, the brain demands 20 percent of the body's oxygen and calories. To keep our noggin well-stocked with resources, three major cerebral arteries are constantly pumping in oxygen. A blockage or break in one of them starves brain cells of the energy they require to function, impairing the functions controlled by that region. This is a stroke.
6. Thousands of Eggs Unused by Ovaries:
When a woman reaches her late 40s or early 50s, the monthly menstrual cycle that controls her hormone levels and readies ova for insemination ceases. Her ovaries have been producing less and less estrogen, inciting physical and emotional changes across her body. Her underdeveloped egg follicles begin to fail to release ova as regularly as before. The average adolescent girl has 34,000 underdeveloped egg follicles, although only 350 or so mature during her life (at the rate of about one per month). The unused egg follicles then deteriorate. With no potential pregnancy on the horizon, the brain can stop managing the release of ova.
5. Puberty Reshapes Brain Structure, Makes for Missed Curfews:
We know that hormone-fueled changes in the body are necessary to encourage growth and ready the body for reproduction. But why is adolescence so emotionally unpleasant? Hormones like testosterone actually influence the development of neurons in the brain, and the changes made to brain structure have many behavioral consequences. Expect emotional awkwardness, apathy and poor decision-making skills as regions in the frontal cortex mature.
4. Cell Hairs Move Mucus:
Most cells in our bodies sport hair-like organelles called cilia that help out with a variety of functions, from digestion to hearing. In the nose, cilia help to drain mucus from the nasal cavity down to the throat. Cold weather slows down the draining process, causing a mucus backup that can leave you with snotty sleeves. Swollen nasal membranes or condensation can also cause a stuffed schnozzle.
3. Big Brains Cause Cramped Mouths:
Evolution isn't perfect. If it were, we might have wings instead of wisdom teeth. Sometimes useless features stick around in a species simply because they're not doing much harm. But wisdom teeth weren't always a cash crop for oral surgeons. Long ago, they served as a useful third set of meat-mashing molars. But as our brains grew our jawbone structure changed, leaving us with expensively overcrowded mouths.
2. The World Laughs with You:
Just as watching someone yawn can induce the behavior in yourself, recent evidence suggests that laughter is a social cue for mimicry. Hearing a laugh actually stimulates the brain region associated with facial movements. Mimicry plays an important role in social interaction. Cues like sneezing, laughing, crying and yawning may be ways of creating strong social bonds within a group.
1. Your Skin Has Four Colors:
All skin, without coloring, would appear creamy white. Near-surface blood vessels add a blush of red. A yellow pigment also tints the canvas. Lastly, sepia-toned melanin, created in response to ultraviolet rays, appears black in large amounts. These four hues mix in different proportions to create the skin colors of all the peoples of Earth.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
My ABCs
ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Does confirmation in my office count?(ok ok, my car)
BIRTHDAY: July 25th
CONFUSED ABOUT: men, some kinds of friends
DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Smirnoff Ice
EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: My elder sister
FAVORITE MUSIC/GROUP/BAND: Rock/Linkin Park
GOOD OR NAUGHTY: Both I think
HOMETOWN: Otor-Owhe, Delta State
INSTRUMENT: Bass/Electric guitar
JOB POSITION: Call Centre Agent
KILLED SOMEONE: NEVER!!!
LONGEST CAR RIDE: From Anambra(Onitsha) to Abuja(Naija)
MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Vanilla
NUMBER OF PETS: none
ONE WISH: To run a successful business and be a social butterfly(too!)
PERSON WHO YOU LAST TALKED TO: a passenger
QUIET OR LOUD: Loud
REASONS TO SMILE: God, Family, My job and my friends
SINGLE: Yels
TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5.20am
UNDERWEAR: Uh huh
VIOLENT: On the Defensive
WORST HABIT: Talking to myself in public( l look crazzzzyyyyy)
X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Chest
YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: Puppies
ZODIAC SIGN: Leo
BIRTHDAY: July 25th
CONFUSED ABOUT: men, some kinds of friends
DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Smirnoff Ice
EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: My elder sister
FAVORITE MUSIC/GROUP/BAND: Rock/Linkin Park
GOOD OR NAUGHTY: Both I think
HOMETOWN: Otor-Owhe, Delta State
INSTRUMENT: Bass/Electric guitar
JOB POSITION: Call Centre Agent
KILLED SOMEONE: NEVER!!!
LONGEST CAR RIDE: From Anambra(Onitsha) to Abuja(Naija)
MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Vanilla
NUMBER OF PETS: none
ONE WISH: To run a successful business and be a social butterfly(too!)
PERSON WHO YOU LAST TALKED TO: a passenger
QUIET OR LOUD: Loud
REASONS TO SMILE: God, Family, My job and my friends
SINGLE: Yels
TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5.20am
UNDERWEAR: Uh huh
VIOLENT: On the Defensive
WORST HABIT: Talking to myself in public( l look crazzzzyyyyy)
X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Chest
YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: Puppies
ZODIAC SIGN: Leo
Monday, October 8, 2007
Technology widens rich-poor gap
OIL has made us billions and fuelled our economic stability, but oil has also become the bane of our existence. For some, it is a curse that has caused poverty and corruption, but for others it is an essential source of untold wealth and power. But as the gap between rich and poor countries continues to expand, it is clear that intellectual capital and technology rule the world, and that natural resources such as oil, gold, and diamonds are no longer the primary determinants of wealth.
Surprisingly, nations with few natural resources demonstrate greater economic growth rates than OPEC countries. Japan's economic growth, driven by technological superiority, outpaces that of Saudi Arabia; South Korea is growing faster than oil-rich Nigeria; and Taiwan's economy has moved well beyond that of oil-rich Venezuela. The United States and Norway are also rich in oil, yet their staggering economic growth comes from intellectual capital.
In reality, it is not money but intellectual capital that drives prosperity. More important, perhaps, is the reality that poverty is driven and sustained by a lack of intellectual capital. The intimate relationship between intellectual capital and economic growth is as old as humanity itself, and is well illustrated by this parable from ancient Babylon (modern-day Iraq).
A man asked his children:
"If you had a choice between the clay of wisdom or a bag of gold, which would you choose?"
"The bag of gold, the bag of gold" the naive children cried, not realising that wisdom had the potential to earn them many more bags of gold in the future.
Seven thousand years later, Iraq - the cradle of civilisation - has its own private bag of gold as it sits perched atop the world's third largest oil reserves.
Meanwhile, Israel, tucked away in the hostile terrain of a barren desert, has the clay of wisdom - the weightless wealth of intellectual capital embodied in the collective mind of its people. The striking economic gap that persists between rich and poor nations has increased sevenfold over the past century to what is now an all-time high. The accumulation of intellectual capital by rich nations has helped broaden this gap because it has enabled them to control technology and collect hidden taxes from less affluent nations. For instance, Nigeria pays a 40 per cent "royalty" tax on its petroleum revenues to foreign oil companies that are ripping out its family jewels - the huge store of wealth in its oilfields. These oilfields started forming when prehistoric, dog-sized humans - our common ancestor with the apes - walked African grasslands on four legs.
It's a shocking reality, but the deep oil reserves laid down by Mother Nature millions of years ago and nurtured through the millennia in Africa have been whittled away within decades. And, for the dubious privilege of surrendering its natural resources forever, Nigeria is required to pay half its petroleum revenue in the form of "royalties" to the rich kids on the global block, the United States and the Netherlands. That oilfield has been exchanged for a bowl of porridge, and the black gold that should serve the under-served in Nigeria is helping wealthy Westerners get wealthier.
Today, half the world's population - three billion people - live on an average of $500 a year. In contrast, Bill Gates earns $500 every second. By controlling technology and taxing computer users, Gates has become wealthier than each of the 70 poorest nations on earth and using his financial might has conquered more territory than Genghis Khan, Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great combined.
While Bill Gates is the new millennium's Prince of Technology, he is by no means the first to have taken on the huge potential offered by the realm of technology. The Romans used roads and military technology to expand their empire. And, for centuries, Britain ruled a quarter of the Earth due to its unparalleled ability to command maritime technology and conquer the Seven Seas. Britain undoubtedly established itself as the world's first superpower through its rapid and ruthless colonial expansion programme. The British raised the Union Jack over Canada and Australia, India and Hong Kong, Egypt and Kenya, and countless other countries - even the United States. The Union Jack cast its shadow in every global time zone, giving rise to the saying, "The sun never sets on the British Empire," a fact that was cold comfort to the colonised nations.
In the same way, the United States has embraced its technological supremacy, both offensively and defensively, to build its own global empire without a physical presence in any of its "colonies." The sole remaining superpower is at the forefront of every major technological advancement, which it has used to become deeply embedded in three-quarters of the globe. The U.S. has accomplished a virtual economic colonisation manifesting its presence throughout the globe by harnessing the power of technology and capitalising on its clay of wisdom.
Africa's inability to realise its potential and embrace technology has left it at the mercy of the West. The time has come for Africa to seize the day and resist the efforts of America and others to leave their imprint and plunder its natural resources. Numerous examples throughout history support the idea that technology can be used as a tool of oppression. And there's little doubt that America's technological advancement has allowed it to exploit natural resources around the world.
This is particularly evident in Africa, where the U.S. is exploiting oilfields beneath the pristine rainforest - and being rewarded with a 40-per cent tax at the expense of the African people. This lends credence to history's assertion that those who control technology oppress those who do not, eventually enslaving them and, finally, wielding power around the globe.
Written by:
Emeagwali, winner of the 1989 Gordon Bell Prize, the Nobel Prize of supercomputing, lives in the United States
Surprisingly, nations with few natural resources demonstrate greater economic growth rates than OPEC countries. Japan's economic growth, driven by technological superiority, outpaces that of Saudi Arabia; South Korea is growing faster than oil-rich Nigeria; and Taiwan's economy has moved well beyond that of oil-rich Venezuela. The United States and Norway are also rich in oil, yet their staggering economic growth comes from intellectual capital.
In reality, it is not money but intellectual capital that drives prosperity. More important, perhaps, is the reality that poverty is driven and sustained by a lack of intellectual capital. The intimate relationship between intellectual capital and economic growth is as old as humanity itself, and is well illustrated by this parable from ancient Babylon (modern-day Iraq).
A man asked his children:
"If you had a choice between the clay of wisdom or a bag of gold, which would you choose?"
"The bag of gold, the bag of gold" the naive children cried, not realising that wisdom had the potential to earn them many more bags of gold in the future.
Seven thousand years later, Iraq - the cradle of civilisation - has its own private bag of gold as it sits perched atop the world's third largest oil reserves.
Meanwhile, Israel, tucked away in the hostile terrain of a barren desert, has the clay of wisdom - the weightless wealth of intellectual capital embodied in the collective mind of its people. The striking economic gap that persists between rich and poor nations has increased sevenfold over the past century to what is now an all-time high. The accumulation of intellectual capital by rich nations has helped broaden this gap because it has enabled them to control technology and collect hidden taxes from less affluent nations. For instance, Nigeria pays a 40 per cent "royalty" tax on its petroleum revenues to foreign oil companies that are ripping out its family jewels - the huge store of wealth in its oilfields. These oilfields started forming when prehistoric, dog-sized humans - our common ancestor with the apes - walked African grasslands on four legs.
It's a shocking reality, but the deep oil reserves laid down by Mother Nature millions of years ago and nurtured through the millennia in Africa have been whittled away within decades. And, for the dubious privilege of surrendering its natural resources forever, Nigeria is required to pay half its petroleum revenue in the form of "royalties" to the rich kids on the global block, the United States and the Netherlands. That oilfield has been exchanged for a bowl of porridge, and the black gold that should serve the under-served in Nigeria is helping wealthy Westerners get wealthier.
Today, half the world's population - three billion people - live on an average of $500 a year. In contrast, Bill Gates earns $500 every second. By controlling technology and taxing computer users, Gates has become wealthier than each of the 70 poorest nations on earth and using his financial might has conquered more territory than Genghis Khan, Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great combined.
While Bill Gates is the new millennium's Prince of Technology, he is by no means the first to have taken on the huge potential offered by the realm of technology. The Romans used roads and military technology to expand their empire. And, for centuries, Britain ruled a quarter of the Earth due to its unparalleled ability to command maritime technology and conquer the Seven Seas. Britain undoubtedly established itself as the world's first superpower through its rapid and ruthless colonial expansion programme. The British raised the Union Jack over Canada and Australia, India and Hong Kong, Egypt and Kenya, and countless other countries - even the United States. The Union Jack cast its shadow in every global time zone, giving rise to the saying, "The sun never sets on the British Empire," a fact that was cold comfort to the colonised nations.
In the same way, the United States has embraced its technological supremacy, both offensively and defensively, to build its own global empire without a physical presence in any of its "colonies." The sole remaining superpower is at the forefront of every major technological advancement, which it has used to become deeply embedded in three-quarters of the globe. The U.S. has accomplished a virtual economic colonisation manifesting its presence throughout the globe by harnessing the power of technology and capitalising on its clay of wisdom.
Africa's inability to realise its potential and embrace technology has left it at the mercy of the West. The time has come for Africa to seize the day and resist the efforts of America and others to leave their imprint and plunder its natural resources. Numerous examples throughout history support the idea that technology can be used as a tool of oppression. And there's little doubt that America's technological advancement has allowed it to exploit natural resources around the world.
This is particularly evident in Africa, where the U.S. is exploiting oilfields beneath the pristine rainforest - and being rewarded with a 40-per cent tax at the expense of the African people. This lends credence to history's assertion that those who control technology oppress those who do not, eventually enslaving them and, finally, wielding power around the globe.
Written by:
Emeagwali, winner of the 1989 Gordon Bell Prize, the Nobel Prize of supercomputing, lives in the United States
Friday, October 5, 2007
Ramblings
I've just realized I'm so accustomed to posting articles written by others, and I'm wanting something a little original so here goes.... The website I got this excerpt from talked about what ladies should do, and as usual I found myself checking dat which I've done and not done and I'm forced to wonder do these dating rules REALLY help?? I agree there are general guidelines but in a bid to follow soooooo many rules, is the relationship not bound to suffer a lot of lapses?? do guys ACTUALLY follow dating rules? or are chics the only ones who bother themselves with how happy they are, want to be, how they can make their SO,s happy etc...
Well, at the end of the day my own conclusion is that for MY relationship to succeed for me i'll make MY RULES. Of course they'd be inspired by others but the thing is manipulate them all to a way that you'd be happy at the end of the day.......of course attitude too goes a long way bcos when an individual male/female goes into relationships with a superior or an inferior attitude, then there's going to be a problem...but when there's mutual respect and consideration for the other party, hopefully you should end up just fine with d the rules you make...look out for yourself while looking out for the other...dat's one of my new rules....
Well, at the end of the day my own conclusion is that for MY relationship to succeed for me i'll make MY RULES. Of course they'd be inspired by others but the thing is manipulate them all to a way that you'd be happy at the end of the day.......of course attitude too goes a long way bcos when an individual male/female goes into relationships with a superior or an inferior attitude, then there's going to be a problem...but when there's mutual respect and consideration for the other party, hopefully you should end up just fine with d the rules you make...look out for yourself while looking out for the other...dat's one of my new rules....
Seven Deadly Dating Sins
Hey bloggers look what I found.......
In the dating world, there are certain things you just don't do. Okay, to be fair, we all do them—but we wish there had been someone there to tell us not to! In this excerpt from Sex with Your Ex, Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D. clearly lays out the seven biggest dating sins for all the world to see (and avoid). So next time that little voice in your head tells you to pull a When Harry Met Sally in bed tonight or check your ex's away message, you'll know better!
1. Never have sex with your ex
The hard fact is that having sex with your ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, ex-partner, ex-one-night-stand, ex-whatever is playing with fire on too many levels for it ever to be the truly right thing to do. Strong feelings will resurface. You may long for him in ways that will surprise you. You may have to fight an overpowering lust. Powerful sex-triggered hormones in your body can make you think you're falling in love again. You will have amnesia about the reasons you're no longer together and be sucked into a fantasy of "happily ever after" this time. You will be tempted to think only of the good times, and you may even find yourself thinking about what could have been, what might still be ... stop that.
2. Never let him keep photos of you in your birthday suit
No matter how you feel about newsstand porn, the thought of being the star of your very own birthday-suit shoot can be totally titillating. Plus its an opportunity to flirt with one cute photographer, especially if he helps you strip down to your tan lines! Yet, in capturing the thrilling moment, make sure that you, and only you, have access to these rare glimpses of you in your "finest" form. While Mother Nature meant for you to be nude, society isn't in agreement with her on this one. And your actual mother might not like it too much either, should she stumble on your nudie pix on the Internet!
3. Never use the toilet in front of your partner
Some couples feel that they should be able to do and say anything in front of each other, even if it's not always so pretty. And it's true, with closeness in a relationship comes an ease and openness about certain things that early in a relationship you'd never dream of doing in front of your partner—using your menstrual heating pad, flossing, adjusting your thong along your butt crack, or picking at a pimple, for instance. However, most people would agree that there needs to be some sort of limit. This is especially true when it comes to using the loo. There are just some things you don't need to know about each other—or at least share—and the vision of doing a #2 tops the list.
4. Never write your ex a letter letting him know "how you feel"
There is a reason they call them breakups, you know. You're breaking off and moving on—with an emphasis on the moving on part. Writing your ex a letter will get in the way of your moving on. In fact, if you cave at this point, after all of the work you've done in getting yourself to a better place, you'll probably reverse all the healing and progress you've made since breaking up. You'll relive all the pain, make yourself vulnerable to more pain by putting your heart out there unprotected, and you'll probably get caught in a roller-coaster ride of unrealistically high hopes and anguished disappointment. So don't do it. He's put you though enough. If it's mean to happen again, let him make the first move.
5. Never fake orgasm
This one's worth repeating: Never fake orgasm—even if you think faking it is a selfless, compassionate act that will spare his feelings. All you do is deprive yourself of sexual fulfillment (if climaxing is your goal) and give him a false sense of rock-star status. Just think of how his ego will be blown if he ever finds out—and you thought you were doing it to make him feel good! In addition, every time you feign climax, you train your body to believe that the fake orgasm is all it's getting. In other words, you develop a habit that desensitizes you and makes it more difficult for you to attain orgasm for real. You end up settling in the sack. That's not the point of sex!
6. Never drop your girlfriends for your guy
We've all had that girlfriend, the one who always seems to disappear when she has a boyfriend or significant other. She's MIA until the second they're on the rocks or done. Then guess who's calling you, crying on your shoulder, longing for support, wailing that she's doomed to be alone...until she finds the next one. If you find that you're guilty of being that kind of friend yourself, rethink whether any guy is worth the cost of abandoning your social circle. When you ditch your friends for your Romeo, you're creating a toxic, one-way friendship, and your friends are not obligated to stick around after you've dropped them. If you don't nurture your friendships the way you do your relationship, you may find yourself dumped by everyone the next time you have a breakup.
7. Never keep your ex in your phone or on your buddy list
After you drop his toothbrush in the toilet—oops!—the first thing you should do after a nasty breakup is to get him off your radar. Completely. That means removing his number from your cell phone, getting him off any speed dials, and bumping him off your buddy lists online. Why this draconian purging? If the relationship and breakup were intense and emotional, it can be hard to wash him out of your hair. For many people, getting rid of all contact info is an important part of healing and finally being able to move on. And if you still have feelings for your ex—good or bad—having that number or buddy user name available at the press of a button makes it all too easy to put off the healing that needs to be done with a call or message.
In the dating world, there are certain things you just don't do. Okay, to be fair, we all do them—but we wish there had been someone there to tell us not to! In this excerpt from Sex with Your Ex, Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D. clearly lays out the seven biggest dating sins for all the world to see (and avoid). So next time that little voice in your head tells you to pull a When Harry Met Sally in bed tonight or check your ex's away message, you'll know better!
1. Never have sex with your ex
The hard fact is that having sex with your ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, ex-partner, ex-one-night-stand, ex-whatever is playing with fire on too many levels for it ever to be the truly right thing to do. Strong feelings will resurface. You may long for him in ways that will surprise you. You may have to fight an overpowering lust. Powerful sex-triggered hormones in your body can make you think you're falling in love again. You will have amnesia about the reasons you're no longer together and be sucked into a fantasy of "happily ever after" this time. You will be tempted to think only of the good times, and you may even find yourself thinking about what could have been, what might still be ... stop that.
2. Never let him keep photos of you in your birthday suit
No matter how you feel about newsstand porn, the thought of being the star of your very own birthday-suit shoot can be totally titillating. Plus its an opportunity to flirt with one cute photographer, especially if he helps you strip down to your tan lines! Yet, in capturing the thrilling moment, make sure that you, and only you, have access to these rare glimpses of you in your "finest" form. While Mother Nature meant for you to be nude, society isn't in agreement with her on this one. And your actual mother might not like it too much either, should she stumble on your nudie pix on the Internet!
3. Never use the toilet in front of your partner
Some couples feel that they should be able to do and say anything in front of each other, even if it's not always so pretty. And it's true, with closeness in a relationship comes an ease and openness about certain things that early in a relationship you'd never dream of doing in front of your partner—using your menstrual heating pad, flossing, adjusting your thong along your butt crack, or picking at a pimple, for instance. However, most people would agree that there needs to be some sort of limit. This is especially true when it comes to using the loo. There are just some things you don't need to know about each other—or at least share—and the vision of doing a #2 tops the list.
4. Never write your ex a letter letting him know "how you feel"
There is a reason they call them breakups, you know. You're breaking off and moving on—with an emphasis on the moving on part. Writing your ex a letter will get in the way of your moving on. In fact, if you cave at this point, after all of the work you've done in getting yourself to a better place, you'll probably reverse all the healing and progress you've made since breaking up. You'll relive all the pain, make yourself vulnerable to more pain by putting your heart out there unprotected, and you'll probably get caught in a roller-coaster ride of unrealistically high hopes and anguished disappointment. So don't do it. He's put you though enough. If it's mean to happen again, let him make the first move.
5. Never fake orgasm
This one's worth repeating: Never fake orgasm—even if you think faking it is a selfless, compassionate act that will spare his feelings. All you do is deprive yourself of sexual fulfillment (if climaxing is your goal) and give him a false sense of rock-star status. Just think of how his ego will be blown if he ever finds out—and you thought you were doing it to make him feel good! In addition, every time you feign climax, you train your body to believe that the fake orgasm is all it's getting. In other words, you develop a habit that desensitizes you and makes it more difficult for you to attain orgasm for real. You end up settling in the sack. That's not the point of sex!
6. Never drop your girlfriends for your guy
We've all had that girlfriend, the one who always seems to disappear when she has a boyfriend or significant other. She's MIA until the second they're on the rocks or done. Then guess who's calling you, crying on your shoulder, longing for support, wailing that she's doomed to be alone...until she finds the next one. If you find that you're guilty of being that kind of friend yourself, rethink whether any guy is worth the cost of abandoning your social circle. When you ditch your friends for your Romeo, you're creating a toxic, one-way friendship, and your friends are not obligated to stick around after you've dropped them. If you don't nurture your friendships the way you do your relationship, you may find yourself dumped by everyone the next time you have a breakup.
7. Never keep your ex in your phone or on your buddy list
After you drop his toothbrush in the toilet—oops!—the first thing you should do after a nasty breakup is to get him off your radar. Completely. That means removing his number from your cell phone, getting him off any speed dials, and bumping him off your buddy lists online. Why this draconian purging? If the relationship and breakup were intense and emotional, it can be hard to wash him out of your hair. For many people, getting rid of all contact info is an important part of healing and finally being able to move on. And if you still have feelings for your ex—good or bad—having that number or buddy user name available at the press of a button makes it all too easy to put off the healing that needs to be done with a call or message.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
A woman's dilemma...
I found dis one funny......
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ....WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN??
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature intosomething you'd like to have dinner with....
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW ....WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN??
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature intosomething you'd like to have dinner with....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)