Friday, September 28, 2007

Borrowed from Catwalq

Accent: Plain with a dash of American(sometimes o).........

Booze: Smirnoff Ice, Gordon Spark, Good Wine

Chore I Hate: Spring cleaning

Dogs/Cats: Puppies....I can get rid of dem as dogs

Essential electronics: A correct Mobile Phone, LCD TV, a Home Theatre sound system, a Laptop(with Internet of course!)

Favourite Perfume: Givenchy, Evidence(for now)

Gold/Silver: Platinum

Hometown: Otor-Owhe, Isoko North, Delta State

Insomnia: Sometimes (I wonder why)

Job title: Call Centre Agent (something more proffessional's in d makin)

Kids: Love to.....

Living arrangements: Me own room in a house big enough to accomodate a family(good enough?)…

Most admired trait: My friendliness, and pple like dat am easy to relate with and fun to be around!!!!

Number of sexual partners: Heeheehee

Overnight hospital stays: There were lots as a child, d last was while I was in University......

Phobia: Failure , Humiliation of any kind

Quote: "Go back to winning isn't everything? Dat does not.........compute"

Religion: Pentecostal

Siblings: 3 Sisters!!!

Time I usually awake: When I just have to get out of bed

Unusual talent: Still trying to figure it out

Vegetable I refuse to eat: I know of fruits and dats water melon(I hate d stuff)

Worst habit: Lazing around.....Just not doing anything(sigh!)

X-rays: Been a while

Yummy foods I make: Indomie, Grains, and a few pots of soup( ;)) )

Zodiac sign: Leo!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Interesting facts............

Some are actually quite funny...moreso its alphabetically arranged (cute:-D)

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds.
Dogs only have about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance in the USA.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.


Can you imagine after composing a little write up blogger decided to screw me so instead of re-writing i just decided to put a collection of weird, funny stories.

Homeowner Offers Burglar Breakfast
Suspect Wanted By Police
POSTED: 8:45 am EDT September 24, 2007
UPDATED: 3:24 pm EDT September 24, 2007

SAN ANTONIO -- A man said he had a heart-to-heart conversation with an armed burglar over a cup of coffee after he found him stealing his belongings from his home on Sept. 11, KSAT-TV in San Antonio reported.
Steve Swanson said he found a man, whom police suspect is Armando Hernandez, stealing items from his home.
"I said, 'What are you doing here?'" Swanson said. "He said, 'I'm taking your stuff, and it's too bad you showed up.'"
Swanson said the man was carrying a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, but he didn't panic.
"I said, 'You don't want to do this. First of all, if you harm me or kill me, I'm just going to go to heaven. You're going to go to prison forever,'" Swanson said.
Swanson said he gave the burglar all the money in his wallet and offered to listen to his problems over breakfast.
He said the man told him he couldn't pay his bills or afford to buy food for himself.
Swanson said he ended their conversation with a prayer and a hug.
He said he convinced the man to give him back two pillowcases full of stolen items.
However, Swanson said, the burglar still got away with some of his wife's expensive jewelry.
Swanson said he notified police only for insurance purposes.
Swanson said he would have upheld his promise to let the thief go had he not taken the items.
Swanson said he believes the men crossed paths for a reason.
"I do believe God put us together and protected me," he said.

Sorry no more my server's insane today......(sniff! sniff!!)

Friday, September 7, 2007

My Joke for today

Wild Irish Ho's

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."

"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera , and..."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."

har har har!!!!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

A peep into a man's[underwear] world

Boxers versus Briefs
A comparative essay

By Bruce McBaxter

Sure, laugh all you want, but briefs have been my closest companions all these few decades of my life. There's nowhere I haven't gone without them—school, work, airplanes, the subway, stores, ferries, soccer pitches, ski hills, ocean-faring container ships, Wall Drug in South Dakota, a baptism dunk tank, Finland, traffic court, the great American wilderness, Grand Central Station, Tijuana. Even, occasionally, the swimming pool. I suspect you'd say the same for whatever you're wearing under your pants—assuming you're wearing anything at all.

Underwear is one of the great human equalizers. That rich guy in the mansion on the hill? He wears underwear, just like you do. Of course his is made of pure silk woven with fine threads of real gold, but that's beside the point. He wears them. You wear them. You guys are simpatico.

For most men, that's about as complex as underwear gets. They're not something we think—or talk—much about. A non-scientific survey of the guys who live on my street reveals … nothing. I have no idea whether my male neighbors wear boxers or briefs—or the much-ballyhooed boxer-briefs, or thongs, or women's underwear—because the "Hi, how ya doin'? So whatchya got on under there?" line of casual questioning will likely lead to a slow backing away followed by an uncomfortable stare and the closing of doors and drapes when you later step outside.

Unlike the sensual relationship many women have with their undergarments, men don't spend a lot of time thinking about underwear. We find a brand and fit that work and we stick with it. If we spend time thinking about our underwear—because they're too tight or too loose or won't stay put—it's a bad day in Dodge.

Even shopping for underwear is blasé. At the department store (have you noticed there isn't a Victoria's Secret retail equivalent for men?), where everything from silk to cotton to nylon undergarments available in various sizes, lengths, and stretches are available, men generally sneak up to the shelf containing their skivvies of choice, maybe hide them under the shirt they're thinking of buying as they walk around, and pay for them with as little conversation as possible. Put them in a bag and get out.

When it comes to briefs versus boxers, I suspect that most guys my age (37) went into adulthood wearing whatever style of underwear they were given right after potty training. This was probably the same style Dad wore all those years down in the coal mine. Perhaps because the Vietnam generation didn't have Eminem's drooping pants-waist as a cultural icon, the wearing of boxers was less of a fashion benchmark than it is today. I am vaguely aware of a switching-to-boxers revolution occurring in the mid-1990s, but by then I was out of college and well on the road to wherever it is I'm going. I didn't then, nor do I today, have frat brothers to impress.

And yet, after half a lifetime of wearing proud-to-be-me tighty whities, I recently gave traditional boxers a two-week test drive. My primary impetus was to get some relief during a summer heat wave. As the temperature crept over 85 (yep, that's a heat wave in Seattle), I felt a palpably greater degree of sweating and discomfort in the nether regions like never before. What I pined for was air—as in, circulation. As the mercury rose, those tight cotton briefs turned into fiberglass insulating foam. New thoughts into the nature of genital garmentation were born and I was suddenly on a mission.

While some would correlate the personalities of briefs and boxers wearers to those of PC and Mac users, or those who prefer vanilla to double-fudge chunk rocky road, I say nay. It isn't that black and white. When it comes to choosing briefs, boxers, or the middle-ground boxer briefs, you have to take the whole package (pardon the pun) into account, which includes a fair evaluation of each of the four universally accepted Underwear Factors: Dribble, Dangle, Dazzle, and Double.Call me an "understudy" if you will, but here's what I learned during my two-week briefs re-evaluation. All garments sampled were of reputable quality and roughly the middle of the price range.

Let's face it—you don't always get every last little bit of drainage out of your system when standing at the urinal. The nice thing about close-fitting cotton briefs is that any liquid reserve that makes its way to freedom is nicely absorbed. With loose-fitting boxers, I found said reserve sometimes traveling down my pant leg. Nope, it's not a pretty image or feeling knowing you mildly pissed yourself and it may be showing. Sure, this could be chalked up to "operator error," but when you've spent a lifetime not knowing such a problem could exist, perhaps a grace period is permitted. Either way, this could be an ongoing problem—and those extra few second standing and shaking at the loo is time taken away from a Lost commercial break.Advantage: briefs and boxer briefs.

One of the reasons I—and I suspect it's true for many others—have stuck with briefs over the years is because of the snug feeling they give. Everything more or less feels held together. This is especially true where sports are concerned, but it's nice even for just regular old walking around (insert Elaine's Seinfeld quote here). For boxers adherents, I suspect the looseness is just as appealing. The preference may also have to do with natural endowment—either the need for more room or for "police line do not cross" style containment. Some claim that briefs reduce sperm count, but my two happy offspring that arrived all too easily seem to counter that argument.Advantage: three-way tie due to personal preference.

I'm not one to prattle about aimlessly in my bare necessities, but in certain situations—say the locker room or the bedroom—if you want to avoid ridicule, even some gentle teasing from your significant other, briefs probably aren't the way to go. I can say for certain my wife likes the appearance of boxers far more than the other two options. And if I'm going to be the butt of a mysterious de-pantsing in public, I'd rather be left standing at the bus stop in something that resembles shorts over a slightly more materialized jock strap.Advantage: boxers.

The "double" I refer to is the roughly double amount of material one needs to stuff into his pants—and keep it there—while wearing boxers and boxer briefs. This was consistently the most frustrating aspect during my two-week underwear assessment. With briefs there's no worry. You put them on and for the most part they stay put. With loose-fitting boxers I had to keep tucking them in at the store, in the parking lot, at my son's preschool. I also found certain pairs of low-waisted jeans didn't want to stay on my waist while worn over boxers. This wasn't fun. And while boxer briefs are a tad less moveable by design than loose-fitting boxers, I encountered with them a different problem—they wanted to rise up my leg. I realize there are boxer designs out there that try to combat these migration issues, but I suspect this is a problem endemic to the anti-brief.Advantage: briefsAnd so, on the balance, this guy is sticking with briefs. I have a drawer full of boxers and boxer briefs now, so there may be times I'll wear something different—especially if the certain somebody in my life persists in smirking and calling my briefs tighty whities. But the mild ridicule is a good trade for not having to think about what's under my pants—and where it's creeping to next.