Tuesday, August 28, 2007

This is so wild...............

A Scorned Husband
Sunday, June 26, 2005

I heard of a story that was so comical but managed to send the right message across. Though it was jungle justice, I quite understand why laws were taken into certain hands and pray that people learn a thing or two from it. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but this time it was a case of hell hath no fury like a man’s dignity stolen from him! Apparently some man’s wife was having an affair with another woman’s husband. You might say, " Same old, same old! Yawn, yawn”. But ah ha, there is a twist to this one! When the man found out through the other man’s wife, as is usually the case, he called his own wife to order and cautioned her to stop her atrocious crime and she promised to keep her legs crossed to all and sundry except him. But much as the woman tried, Mr. Boyfriend would not let her be! He bombarded her with flowers, texts, money and what have you! So relentless was he in his pursuit that she fell prey to his advances finding it difficult to resist the allure of the so-called ‘forbidden fruit’. This time though, she was a lot more discreet but she obviously underestimated the tentacles of her husband who had both his eyes and ears to the ground this time around. No do, no do, when her husband found out yet again that she was still collecting ‘jara’ from her erstwhile lover, he decided, once and for all, to deal with the other party this time, man to man.

Unknown to Mr. Boyfriend, the husband hired somebody to stalk him while he decided on how to deal with him. One fine evening, his spy tailed the guy to a hotel he had apparently booked for another rendezvous with his wife. The husband cross-checked at home and realized the wife was planning to go and visit her ‘aunty’. He feigned ignorance but noticed the glint in her eyes, which she was too euphoric anticipation of her forthcoming tryst to conceal. But like a man looking at the bigger picture, he swallowed his pride and took it all in his stride knowing his plan for that evening would bring her to her senses fast enough! Funny enough all along, and even up to this moment, he had no intention of leaving his wife and was ready to do literally anything to keep her. But after she got dressed ready to leave for her ‘aunt’s’, he picked a huge fight with her, seized her mobile phone, took the land phone out of the bedroom, locked her inside there, also locked the front door and even the gate then warned her that if she as much as even called for the maiguard, he would kill her on his return! Something told her he wasn’t joking so she wisely respected herself and did as instructed. That is another thing about adulterers. No matter how the secret affair is doing them gizz gizz, they know when to call themselves to order and she was not prepared to throw her marriage to the dogs no matter how sweet Mr. Boyfriend’s flavor was! If we dey cry make we see road! They call it last card check! You might ask how the husband found out about their rendezvous, but chill first.

My advice to straying women, beware of your staff more so drivers, especially the long term ones! Apparently hubby was gathering potential information from the driver who was singing like a canary! Money talks. With his weapon of knowledge, he decided to kill the rat in his marriage once and for all! On getting to the venue for the ‘love fest’ (thanks to her driver), he proceeded with three of his friends to hotel room. The imprisoned wife had no way of reaching her lover to tell him the change of plans and besides, she was oblivious of her husband’s game plan. Little did she know the impending doom about to befall her sweetheart. And even if she did, was she going to uproot the burglary proof at the window in her bid to get out? She wrongly assumed her husband was acting on one of his jealous rages and understandably took it in her stride. She just felt if her lover did not hear from her he would know the coast is not clear and understand the unspoken rule in infidelity, which is once you do not hear from each other, you do not call because the silence in itself is a message. Anyway, the husband located the room number like a seasoned detective. A role he did not think he would ever play when he was blissfully saying ‘I do’. Ah! Life and it’s unending surprises huh? The things we do for love. Was he carrying a gun to the hotel you ask? Oh no! That is too conventional but I can a sure you the ‘weapon’ he used did a lot more damage! Besides, as it was not a Western movie, a gun was not appropriate though very tempting at the time I might add. His weapon, my dear, was in human form. You see, a few days before, hussy and his friends had painstakingly concocted a plan they knew would leave a dent in Mr. Boyfriend’s memory for the rest of his life! Apparently they searched and found a heavily built raging homosexual whose stature wasn’t the only thing gigantic about him! Catch my drift? Let’s just say he was the envy of many men who were relieved he was homosexual! Apparently as the Crown King of faggots, he had been known to initiate even the most unwilling members into his ‘world’. Don’t ask me how they located this specimen but when you are pushed to the wall you would be amazed at how fermented your mind can get. Since the matter on hand was a ‘d…. thing’ the scorned husband thought the best message to give his trespasser was to give him a taste of his own medicine only this time, through a different entrance! Getting the picture now? Hang on, story never finish, don’t rush me I beg!

Anyway with Crown King in tow, together with his friends, all five able bodied men headed for the culprit’s room. They had wisely gotten a waiter to escort them and asked him to knock on the door claiming to be Room Service, which is another thing for erstwhile lovers to watch out for! Don’t be so quick to open up as you never know who or what might be waiting for you on the other side! Yes, there was ‘room service’ quite all right but certainly not the kind he had in mind! When the waiter knocked, they all stepped out of view. Mr. Boyfriend whistled to the door (in a good mood naturally) and casually enquired who it was. As soon as he heard ‘room service’ he opened the door clad in a toweling robe as he’d just had a shower. Greatest mistake of his life! I must say he was ‘the whole nine yards’ kinda man. He wanted to make the most of the hotels’ services and spoil himself a little before devouring another man’s wife with glee. After all he paid for it and deserved his money’s worth not so? I’m sure he must have also done a few sit-ups for good measure as he had his ‘stud’ image to protect huh? But as soon as he saw his ‘guests’, he knew they were not there for a cup of coffee and ‘sweet sensation’ was not on the menu for that day! Even if the husband had second thoughts about his revenge, just seeing his wife’s lover semi-naked in a robe must have refueled his anger!! For one millisecond, Mr. Boyfriend must have closed his eyes and wished he was far far away from what was before him but alas reality brought him back to earth with ten angry eyes staring at him!! He realized his fatal mistake and made a futile attempt to shut the door but was overpowered by five irate men who imagined the same thing happening to their wives! (Minus Crown King of course, as women were obviously not his thing).

As we all know, nothing can fuel a man’s fire more than imagining another man on top of his jewel! Very few things top that on the list of ‘10 reasons to kill’ or what do you think? As soon as they barged in, they paid the waiter off and warned him not to tell a soul what he had just witnessed. Being a man and probably a married one, he nodded understandably. Of course by this time, Mr. Boyfriend was on his knees begging for mercy like his life depended on it. Which it did really! He wisely chose not to mention God in the scheme of things. In his mind he must have known that would not augur well considering the circumstances. Of course his pleas fell on deaf ears. He was a quivering mess with catarrh running down his nostrils unabashedly but at that point, I’m positive he did not give a flying toss about his looks and probably blamed it, albeit briefly, for putting him in this predicament. He was wailing like a village woman, dignity and decorum long forgotten. And nobody thought to take a camera? It would have made interesting viewing for later with some chilled beer for good measure. As soon as Crown King was given the go-ahead, the remaining four men pinned him down against the table while Mr. Boyfriend made his debut, albeit forcefully, into the world of sodomy! There was a lot of moaning and grunting as is the case with copulation, but something tells me it wasn’t one of pleasure as is the case with his punisher’s wife. During the ‘ritual’ the friends kept on telling him “That is what you get for sleeping with another man’s wife!" Only after the act, did the husband lean to him and say in the calmest whisper, “This is just a taste of what is to come should you touch my wife again!" I bet the message, though quietly said, was the loudest whisper Mr. Boyfriend had ever heard in his life! Rape is bad and horrible for women. It is emotionally wrenching and physically repulsive but it cannot hold a candle next to enforced sodomy. I can only imagine it would be tenfold for a man! Only a heterosexual man can fathom the excruciating pain, both mental and physical, of enforced sodomy more so initiated by a rival. But only a scorned husband would cause another man that kind of pain. He watched the victim cry bitter tears. He saw the shame in his eyes that far outweighed his physical pain and he felt vindicated knowing the guy has walked the same journey of anguish like he, the husband had walked in the past few months. Gone was the charm, gone was the wit, gone was the finesse that embodied Mr. Charming Personified. In its place was a beaten, broken man. Physically, emotionally and spiritually, he was destroyed in every sense of the word and all for what? Five minutes of pleasure or maximum 10/20 minutes on a good day? He just knelt down and covered his sore blood stained anus with his towel trying, albeit failing woefully, to salvage some form of respectability considering the circumstances. He could not even muster the strength to voice an apology to the scorned husband because his punishment had put paid to that.

Never in his wildest dreams did he expect what befell him. He must have thought he was beyond reproach otherwise why else would he still continue a relationship with a woman whose husband had not only found out, but had warned her about? Who was he going to report the case to now? What judge would give him a listening ear? Was he ready to go public with the rape charge? Was he ready to let the world know he had been sodomized and why? How was he going to explain his bleeding ‘used-to-be virgin’ backside to his wife at home? Would he be able to take a crap for the next few days? Those were questions that ran through my mind and I’m sure must have run through his mind in his sober moment of reflection. He crossed the line and paid a very high price. Now, most men might not go that far but you can never underestimate the wrath of a man when it comes to revenge. So you men out there thinking you are having one up on another man’s property, remember this story o! Be warned!!!

Culled from a website....from d date u can see it's an old story.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


I hear a lot of the expression 'wheat and chaff' that chaff seems to be an apt topic for this post.... In guy issues(i.e relationships), there's(or there are?) a whole lot of chaff(time wasters, opportunists, etc) floating around and quite unfortunately, they seem to land on our turfs a little too often. What are they like really? They're expert camouflagers (right word?), and beautiful liars(i'd go into details but dis sort of says it all).
Now, why am I saying all this? It's becos of a comment a friend of mine made...as friends, guys are FUUUUNNNN!!!! But as boyfriends(sigh!) chics have to put up with a lot of s***. A perfect example is d man dating(or claiming to date) someone i know(gossip :-p) he does nothing to show she means anything to him, waits for like a week, two or even more before resurfacing with flimsy excuses...of course one would scream 'chuck him out' and he will be too(if he's not out already), but the point I'm trying to make is that chaff seems to be in such abundance, they tend to outnumber the wheat...who by the time they surface, we tend to regard as chaff till after a while we realize, 'this just might be it'.. and it is becoming sooo depressing and discouraging encountering so much chaff and searching for(or waiting to be found by) the wheat...but, the wheat is out there, somewhere...and one woman's chaff is another's wheat..(lol). It's just a matter of time, patience and firmness in knowing what you DON'T want, and abiding by it................

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

A Tribute To Guys.......

Ok someone accused me of being a feminist which I admit I might be, but I decided to use my Christian mind to appreciate guys today.........now, 98% of my friends are guys and I must confess dat each and everyone of them have been fun all the way......
Guys are expert secret keepers(at d same time expert gossips!), have fantastic senses of humor, are correct dancers, give really good advice, always seem to have one or two money making ideas, seem to know where to get what at good prices(how do dey do it?), know where and where to hang out at what time, easily confide in us as we do in dem, are DEAD patient with their chics when it comes to tolerating mood swings, tantrums, occasional sulking etc(sorry chics)......and d list goes on and on.
Der's never a dull moment with guys(honestly)!
So this goes out to ALL my guy friends today.......big ups to y'all, keep up d good work;)
N.B might I add that this post is based solely on personal opinions and experiences OK????!!! So dont nobody go 'i disagree with you etc etc'.............
Anoda NB
I AM STILL A FEMINIST!!!!(hahahahahahaha).............