Friday, March 28, 2008

Brands and Labels

Today I write dis to say I DONT CARE...I LIKE IT!!!! It's directed to all those to who don't approve of what I did...ehh eehh eerrrmmm(clearing throat)
my story...i have someone who personalizes tops for me and i've had d luxury of having my name in bold print on one of my i make two new tops one of which has D'BANJ written boldly across d chest and at d back...and I proudly sport it to work today being a dress down day....

Now, whilst I dont need "oohs aaahhhsss 'ure u beautiful' nice top etc"(ok maybe i do just a little bit>:p), I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT NEED "are u dbanj? wetin consain u with dbanj, why is his name on ur shirt, which kain work u carry for head dey do free advert for dbanj? how u go wear dbanj for tshirt?" etcetc....I determined not to let it spoil my mood but dese guys are sooooo almost getting me der...SO...for all y'all dat don't like it.....I DONT CARE!!!!! In fact am so provoked ave decided all my tops from now on will have one celeb or the other, nigerian and international...let's see them talk and talk until they become tired!!!!!
psssshheeeeaaaaawwww(O yes am dat pissedddd)...but I'm still proud of the pissed bcos I mean, I have seen shirts with things like "Guns and Roses", "Strokes", etc etc....dose are Rock Bands and no one says a I wear Dbanj who am a diehard fan of and I hear things I dont need...well wa'eva..who ever wants to talk should feel free because what I have on is my decision and no one else's......

Well, now dat ave gotten d rant out of the way, I can go back to work(hehehehehehe)

I jus added dis now so u guys will see it(lol)..wasnt able to do so last week

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

10 Things No One Tells You About Parenthood

Sleepless nights and changing toxic diapers are child’s play—here’s the stuff you should really know.

Everyone has seen the “what to expect during parenthood” books and articles, but they never tell the whole story. While raising kids is the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life, and the love you feel for them is unlike anything else you’ll ever know, there are a few pitfalls nobody ever tells you about. Read on, if you dare.

1) The way you view the world changes
When you bring someone into this world, things like global warming, war and women in beer ads have a whole new meaning. You start actually looking at the impact these things have, and what the world will become after you’re dead and gone. Leaving a better place for your kids and grandkids becomes more than just talk.

2) You’ll feel like a failure

There will be times when no matter how hard you try, your kids are never happy. You feel you’re telling them “no” too much, constantly harping on them to clean their room, or dashing their dreams of lowering their brother down the staircase on a rope. While they may complain they don’t have a Wii or that “so and so’s” mom let’s them see PG-13 movies, you need to stick to what you believe in and what you feel is best for your kids.

3) You have no time
This seems obvious, but you can’t believe just how little time you have. You start to measure things out in minutes and seconds. “If he watches Curious George for 20 more seconds, I can go to the bathroom,” or “If his nap lasts another 10 minutes, maybe I can get in a shower today.”

4) Not going to the bathroom by yourself

When your kids are babies, the bathroom is the only place you can get your head together. It’s also one of the only places you can actually read. I read ESPN’s Bill Simmons’ entire book over the course of the week in the bathroom when my youngest was a baby. And then he turned two. If he’s not forcing his way in to watch “how it’s really done” he’s banging on the door screaming “lemme in!” or sliding all his books underneath. There is no peace with toddlers.

5) Parenthood will turn you soft
This one hits the guys especially hard. You’ll find yourself tearing up at any dumb movie that has anything to do with parenthood, and if you have a daughter, don’t be surprised to find yourself playing “My Little Pony” before heading off to work. The icing on the cake is hawking Girl Scout cookies in front of your local grocery store annually.

6) They will embarrass you
This is a big shock, and you’re never ready for it. In your mind, they are perfect little angels; in reality, they’re little people trying to figure out their way in the world. Unfortunately, they say what they want—when they want. It can be something that’s funny like announcing to their pre-school class that Daddy farts all the time, or it can be humiliating like a temper tantrum in a grocery store or having them tell your parents to “get me a toy next time” after opening a gift containing pajamas. You’re prepared for the fact that you’ll embarrass them when they get to a certain age, but you’re never ready to be the one that’s humiliated.

7) Worrying
This is the one that stings from the day your child is born until the day you die. From the start you worry that they’ll stop breathing in their crib, then you obsess about getting the damn car seat in correctly. They get a little older and you worry about them falling down the stairs or choking on a Polly Pocket. As the years go on you lose sleep about dating, not fitting in, or getting into a situation that they can’t handle. Then there are the worries that never go away: providing enough, paying for college or not teaching them the right things. The list goes on and on and on, and it takes a major toll on you. But you worry because you love.

8) You won’t be the parent you think

We all had visions of the kind of parents we would be to our kids. Now, as battle tested Moms and Dads, we’ve heard the prospective parents spouting off advice. Those hollow words of wisdom come even though they’ve never gotten up at three a.m. to do a load of laundry with more vomit on it than a frat house floor. Nor have they tried to cook dinner with a screaming baby in their arms, a toddler doing cartwheels off the couch, and the phone ringing. It usually goes something like this: “I’d never let my kids watch TV before they turn three,” or “I would never raise my voice at my child,” or “My toddler won’t ever eat sweets.” Uh huh, and I said I’d never own a minivan. You have this great picture of the kind of parent you want to be, and how picturesque your family will become. You try to live up to that vision, but you also have to survive. So, snickering at a prospective parent spouting off advice is not only allowed, but encouraged.

9) Sickness

Let’s start with pin worms. They are small parasitic worms that live in the human intestinal track. The worms crawl out of the child’s anus at night and lay their eggs in the diaper, pajamas and other areas around the bed or crib. The eggs are then passed to others and ingested unknowingly. The worst part? You have to go in there and grab them while your kid is asleep. It’s a damn horror show. It’s also not something I had any idea about before having kids. Sick kids take a toll on the entire house. Even the typical cold has taken on a whole new meaning, especially with toddlers. It can require being up in the middle of the night for days in a row, missing work and acting as one giant Kleenex. The numerous slug trails across your shirt are always a nice touch.

10) The feeling of unconditional love
You assume that you’re going to love your kids, but what you end up feeling for them is unlike anything else you’ll ever know. Just a simple smile from your offspring can erase a really crappy day at the office. This is the reason why people rave about having kids while they look exhausted and have a fresh batch of spit-up running down their back.

Craig Playstead is a freelance writer, husband and father of three living in the suburbs of Seattle. In the past he's also been a sports writer, a game writer and a talk show host. You can reach him at

Monday, March 17, 2008


Today am going to complain bitterly about my experience last night at the A.Y Live Show.....

no 1.....we were kept standing outside for about 2hrs bcos the hall wasnt ready, subsequently, the show meant to start at 5pm started at almost 7...y?? ask d organisers......den comedians like Akpos, Gordons, Ali Baba, etc etc came out to entertain the irate audience, Stella Damascus and Kate Henshaw-Nuttal(is it?)..also tried in wow-ing us, two dance groups performed although I personally prefered the second, den the culprit himself(A.Y) came out and performed also, and den we had P-Square who almost lost the attention of the crowd to an apparent gay couple(dey could have been fooling the crowd, but dey did a damn good job cos i found their display quite repulsive...although some members of d audience were so amused they recorded some moves...I deliberately kept my face away from dem....) after dat(sigh)...we d audience expected more comedians like Klint De Drunk, Gandoki as promised on d flyer.....or even Akpos who said he would be back after his intial act...or at least anoda performance by maybe 9ice, or D'banj or who else??? I don forget...but after P-Square A.Y came out thanked us for coming and told us d show was over..initially no one moved cos we felt it was a joke..but we realized they were serious wen d hall lights came on and the crew started dismantling their stuff... I wish the likes of carlang, isi, anon gal, afrobabe, or even jinta had been there....the story would have been told better(no offense meant guys..i just mean i love the way u guys tell ur stories)

Monday, March 10, 2008

Four Kisses You Must Master

There's smooching and there's lighting a fire on his lips. These moves will burn him up.
By Lisa Chudnofsky

We know what you're thinking. A kiss? Big whoop. You've had your mouth-to-mouth MO nailed since junior high. But what you might not have realized is that by customizing your lip-locking to the occasion, you can actually take your necking up a notch. "Even the best kissers can add bewildering power," explains Shelley Hess, author of Pucker Power: Great Kissers Make Great Lovers. "The secret is knowing what kind of kiss the situation calls for and then switching your moves accordingly."

Cosmo presents four crucial kisses and the accompanying lip tricks that'll have him spellbound from the moment you meet to "See ya" … and every second in between.

The Hot Hello
The quick "Hi, honey" peck is no way to rebond with your babe, whether you've been missing him since your morning bagel or last Saturday night. Set the tone for your time together with a kiss that makes him think, Oh you are happy to see me. "Greet your guy with enthusiasm and he'll immediately feel loved and appreciated," explains Linda Olson, PhD, host of the syndicated radio show America's Love Doctor. "A high-energy hello smooch is the ultimate way to communicate that excitement and foreshadow the fun to come." Plus, when he kisses you back with the same degree of desire, you'll feel that love rush too.

The hot hello actually starts long before your lips meet. Let's set the scene: You see your guy. Maybe he's working his way across the bar, maybe he's standing on your doorstep. You lock eyes, flash him a smile, and slowly begin your approach, maintaining eye contact the whole way. When he's in close range, utter a husky "Hey there, gorgeous" and press your body up against his. This is key for creating intimacy: You don't want to strike the disastrous A-frame pose (think lips together, hips miles apart), according to William Cane, kissing coach and author of The Art of Kissing.

Okay, bodies meshed? Roger that. Now it's time to pucker up, baby. Wrap your hand around the nape of his neck and pull his face gently toward you. When your mouths finally meet, maintain a strong but closed-lip seal for up to 10 sultry seconds.

Keep your tongue reined in; this kiss should shoot straight from the lip. Hey, there'll be plenty of time for tongue twisting at the end of the night — keep him in anticipation of what's to come as you pull away.

The Movie-Star Make-Out
Ever have one of those omigod-we're-so-in-love-moments with your guy? You know: You're gazing into each other's eyes. Time stands still. You swear you hear music building in the background. That's where we're going with this Hollywood-style hookup. "When a couple is feeling that paralyzing surge of passion, words just get in the way," says Liz H. Kelly, dating couch and author of Smart Man Hunting. "Instead of trying to explain that you wish you could devour him whole, give him everything you've got with an over-the-top doozy of a smooch." Warning: Since you can't contain chemistry of this magnitude, this make-out sesh can happen anytime, anywhere, but you'll be too busy luxuriating in the lip-lock to notice the spectators gathering.

Okay, this fan favorite needs drama. Act one: The Dip. First, says Cane, get your guy to wrap his arms around your waist. Then seductively work your right hand over his chest and up to the nape of his neck and hold on tight. Here's your cue to toss your head back, letting your left hand fall to your side in slo-mo as you lean backward. (Relax, the testosterone will kick in and your leading man will instinctively grab you tighter so you don't hit the deck.)

While in repose, take the lead again and part your pucker slightly to invite him to pull you up for some full-on Frenching. Alternate tongue techniques between a gentle flicker and a circular rotation until one of your has to yell "Cut!" to come up for air.

The Sweet Tease
The gang is at a bar on Friday night, and although you're trying like hell to stay fully engaged in a discussion on the virtues of low-carb beer, something else has your total attention: your man's rear in those Levi's. Sure, you could pull him into the ladies' room and ravish him. But we recommend building up to the impending erotic Olympics with a little pregame PDA. "The thrill of the chase is always enticing," says Olson. "The idea is to tease your partner in a way that shows him what's in store for later but also lets the tension mount." So give him some sugar … just enough to totally satisfy your sweet tooth.

To kick off the coy canoodle, start by slowly grazing your lips up the side of his neck, covering every inch of exposed skin with tiny kisses. Moving up to his earlobe, flirtatiously nibble until you've secured his full attention. Now brush your lips over his and whisper in close range that he's never looked sexier. When his eyes widen, lock him into a seductive gaze, and without soliciting "Get a room!" from the crowd, subtly trace his lower lip with your tongue.

After a few mouthwatering moments, initiate lip-o-suction. Gently use both of your lips to suck or tug on his lower lip for a second or two, then back off and work his top lip. Continue alternating between his top and bottom lips as he tries to slip you the tongue; immediately cut the session short with a giggle and whisper in his ear exactly what you're going to do to him later.

The Sizzling Send-Off
Whether your man is heading out on a weeklong trip or just leaving for his job one morning, good-bye has to count. After all, it's this moment that'll fire your desire to see each other again and brew sexy tension before the next reunion. "Show your partner exactly how much you're going to miss him and leave him with something to think about — namely, you," says Kelly. After this smooch, he'll be questioning how long he can live without you!

Here's how to make it memorable: He'll be expecting sap, so surprise him with unexpected sizzle. First, pull his head toward you using a little force. Then lick your finger and part his lips to prime him for a passion pant. Press your lips to his, creating an airtight seal, then open your mouth, maintaining lip contact, and inhale deeply. You'll take his breath away, literally. Right about now is when he'll forget his reason for leaving. Back off a touch, then grab his belt loops and yank his pelvis toward you. When you feel the heat, that's your signal to go in for round two. Ding, ding, ding! Make this one really count. Then release your Romeo, giving him a cheeky pat on his bum. You'll feel his eyes burning a hole through your butt as you turn and walk away.