How to Attract Better Guys

- Culled from Cosmopolitan.com
Sometimes it's tough to spot a creep until it's too late. Here, Cosmo investigates how to suss out the losers and position yourself to meet Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now.


This past year, gorgeous actress Anne Hathaway's relationship with Rafaello Follieri famously crashed and burned when he was exposed as a con man.

In fairness to Anne, it's not always easy to tell whether a dude's truly charming and sweet or putting on an act. "Guys who have little integrity or may not be a good boyfriend long-term tend to be slick and evasive," says Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., author of Love in 90 Days. The following info will help you clue in better to lame guys, and lure in the good ones.

Spotting a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
If you've ever been duped by a less-than-stellar guy (as in, a perpetual mooch, a cheater, a liar) it's not necessarily that you're naive. It's that many times, we're attracted to the traits that cover up who the guy really is, according to Jessica Cassaday, Ph.D., and Ryan Browning Cassaday, co-authors of Stop Wondering if You'll Ever Meet Him. For example, he's super romantic right away. "Yeah, it's nice for you, but it's a sign that he's over-compensating," they say. "Men who claim they fell in love with you at first sight or pour on the charm immediately are often trying too hard to win you over, hiding the fact that they have no real potential to develop a relationship naturally."

Some other red flags to look for early in the relationship: He gets very cozy on the first date, becoming inappropriately touchy-feely; he's refreshingly talkative, but you realize he actually commands most of the conversation, rarely asking you questions about yourself; or he "futures" you on date one or two, using a sweet phrase like "someday we should drive to the mountains to see the snow" (this indicates lack of authenticity or a desire to sell something).

Reeling in the Good Ones
It's important to ask yourself whether you're unconsciously sending out signals that losers are picking up on. If so, you may need to change your frequency. For instance, most jerks will go after women who they suspect have low confidence and can be easily swayed. To entice motivated, kind, and faithful men, psych yourself up with positive self-talk before going out. "Research says that if you tell yourself you look hot in a dress or are having an amazing hair night, you'll have less anxiety and better self-esteem, which will in turn attract confident men who like strong women," Kirschner says.

In terms of location, there isn't one guaranteed place to stake out a good catch. But as cliché as it sounds, philanthropic events tend to attract honest, reliable, and commitment-ready types, according to experts. Or, hang out with your network of friends, family, and coworkers (instead of hoping to meet a random stranger at a bar) because that's how you're likely to connect with good guys who you'll gel with, Kirschner says.

One sign that a guy's a good catch? If he mentions he's close with his family. That means he's more apt to be a stable, loving person who wants to make a commitment, Kirschner says. Another trick to use once you've gone out a few times: Check out his apartment. If booze figures prominently and he's all about multiple flat screens and toys like video games and a pool table, he could be a player.

Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.


NB: anoda excerpt for da single ladies(lol)

Love Questions Every Guy Asks Himself

-Culled from Cosmopolitan.com

Its been AGGEESSSSS since I blogged...but I saw this really interesting article and decided to post it.....:-D....i'll be back in grand style again...SOOOONNNEEESSTTTTT!

Love Questions Every Guy Asks Himself
All men make internal queries at critical relationship moments to decide whether to stick around or stick a fork in it.
On a First Date
What's she like in bed?

If I don’t get laid tonight, will this end early enough for me to meet up with friends?

But...will I get laid tonight?

Is that a superultrawünderbra or are her breasts that incredible?

Does she think I’m funny?

Do I tell her she has a piece of lettuce stuck in her teeth or do I hope it works itself loose before she looks in a mirror and completely freaks out?

Does she always wear this much makeup?

Are lulls in the conversation first-date awkwardness or a sign that she has nothing to say?

Would doing this again be worth the time and money?


Before Getting Serious
Am I really willing to give up on other potentials for her?

Would I be proud to introduce her to my folks?

That girl I always see at the gym seems into me, so seriously, am I really willing to give up on other potentials?

Will my friends like her?

Will she let me see my friends?

Would I have fun if I took a long vacation with her?

Will I think her “charming quirks” are actually “annoying pathology” in six months?

At some point down the road, can I see myself perhaps beginning to maybe think about the chance that I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of marrying her?


Before Getting Married
I love the way things are, so will marriage change anything?

Is she gonna go bonkers while planning the wedding?

Will she eventually look as MILF-hot (or troll-like) as her mom does?

Can I handle her insane family for the rest of my life…and can she handle mine?

Will she be a good mother?

She may work now, but do I make enough money to support her and a family if I need to?

Will I ever be able to spend time by myself again?

Do I know I can count on her in a crisis?

Can I be happy never having sex with another woman for the rest of...my...life?


NB....Guys...is dis true????

Naija Talent

Eko Dialogue by Joy Isi Bewaji

The hustle and bustle of life in Lagos and the attendant drama, grit and fervour that characterize the people and different scenes in the city often leaves a newcomer and even some conservative long-timers breathless with wonderment. The irony of Lagos life is such that imprints on the mind of a keen observer the impressions of a city reeling with laughter and deep reflections.

Eko Dialogue captures this unique soul of life in the city in different episodic scenes that are aptly fast-paced that you almost feel the blares, toots and cynicism of Eko (Lagos) life literarily come alive and jump straight at you. Authored by Joy Isi Bewaji, Eko Dialogue is a satire of the modern realities in Eko and is written in a style that is at once fluid and compelling.


DIRECT DELIVERIES PLEASE CALL: 0702 – 808 – 9176
COVER PRICE N600.00 ONLY



NB
This is my way of appreciating d enormous potential resident in naija.....u go babes:-)

A bit tired..............

I've been browsing different websites...and I keep coming across one word that's beginning to crawl up my skin and dat word is CHEATING...we have articles like "Why He Cheats"...."When He Cheats"...."Is He Cheating"...."How to tell if he's cheating"....etc etc....I mean for God's sake is there NOTHING else to talk about? Am I to go through my entire dating life, married life hounding my man or husband to see if he's cheating or not??? and if UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM I discover he's Cheating, am I to dash back to the Internet to find dat article dat talks about why men cheat and bake him a cake as proof of my forgiving him and wanting to work things out? Or am I to run reporting him to his friends, parents, Pastor and even God to strike him with an electric bolt so dat next time he wont ever do it again? Now dont get me wrong I dont support Infidelity, but I expect that by now couples worldwide understand the reality and ugliness of cheating...d pain, fury and sorrow it causes, the emotional turmoils attached on both the "cheater" and the "cheatee"[couldnt think of anoda term].....etc etc...so can the world find something else to talk about? do we hear people trying to handle issues like violence, robbery, murder, serial killing, fraud, prostitution etc....the thing is infidelity is as bad as those vices mentioned above whether we want to admit it or not....and at the end of the day its up to you and me to decide whether the initial thrill and excitement of new "equipment" is worth the future tribulation awaiting you if and when discovered......
Have I said enough???? I think so.........

For d singles like moi....

10. Flirting is an attitude
A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic and positive—it works!

9. Start a conversation
The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help or state an opinion.

8. Have fun
Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.

7. Use props
Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you. Great props include dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion, interesting ties, hats or an interesting book or newspaper.

6. Be the host
Change your behavior from guest to host. You are not a passive person waiting around for romance; instead, you’re the welcome committee.

5. Make the first move
Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say hello.

4. Listen
You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.

3. Eye contact
Please look your partner in the eye gently (no more than a few seconds) and then glance away. Don’t stare—it’s a turn-off.

2. Compliment
Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The “flirtee” will know that you really noticed him or her. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When you receive a compliment, the best response is a simple “Thank you!”

1. Smile
It’s contagious. Smiling makes you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You’ll be a people magnet.


I guess dis applies to everyone doesn't it????