Some are actually quite funny...moreso its alphabetically arranged (cute:-D)
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds.
Dogs only have about 10.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance in the USA.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Well..............
Can you imagine after composing a little write up blogger decided to screw me so instead of re-writing i just decided to put a collection of weird, funny stories.
Enjoy:
Homeowner Offers Burglar Breakfast
Suspect Wanted By Police
POSTED: 8:45 am EDT September 24, 2007
UPDATED: 3:24 pm EDT September 24, 2007
SAN ANTONIO -- A man said he had a heart-to-heart conversation with an armed burglar over a cup of coffee after he found him stealing his belongings from his home on Sept. 11, KSAT-TV in San Antonio reported.
Steve Swanson said he found a man, whom police suspect is Armando Hernandez, stealing items from his home.
"I said, 'What are you doing here?'" Swanson said. "He said, 'I'm taking your stuff, and it's too bad you showed up.'"
Swanson said the man was carrying a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, but he didn't panic.
"I said, 'You don't want to do this. First of all, if you harm me or kill me, I'm just going to go to heaven. You're going to go to prison forever,'" Swanson said.
Swanson said he gave the burglar all the money in his wallet and offered to listen to his problems over breakfast.
He said the man told him he couldn't pay his bills or afford to buy food for himself.
Swanson said he ended their conversation with a prayer and a hug.
He said he convinced the man to give him back two pillowcases full of stolen items.
However, Swanson said, the burglar still got away with some of his wife's expensive jewelry.
Swanson said he notified police only for insurance purposes.
Swanson said he would have upheld his promise to let the thief go had he not taken the items.
Swanson said he believes the men crossed paths for a reason.
"I do believe God put us together and protected me," he said.
Sorry no more my server's insane today......(sniff! sniff!!)
Enjoy:
Homeowner Offers Burglar Breakfast
Suspect Wanted By Police
POSTED: 8:45 am EDT September 24, 2007
UPDATED: 3:24 pm EDT September 24, 2007
SAN ANTONIO -- A man said he had a heart-to-heart conversation with an armed burglar over a cup of coffee after he found him stealing his belongings from his home on Sept. 11, KSAT-TV in San Antonio reported.
Steve Swanson said he found a man, whom police suspect is Armando Hernandez, stealing items from his home.
"I said, 'What are you doing here?'" Swanson said. "He said, 'I'm taking your stuff, and it's too bad you showed up.'"
Swanson said the man was carrying a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, but he didn't panic.
"I said, 'You don't want to do this. First of all, if you harm me or kill me, I'm just going to go to heaven. You're going to go to prison forever,'" Swanson said.
Swanson said he gave the burglar all the money in his wallet and offered to listen to his problems over breakfast.
He said the man told him he couldn't pay his bills or afford to buy food for himself.
Swanson said he ended their conversation with a prayer and a hug.
He said he convinced the man to give him back two pillowcases full of stolen items.
However, Swanson said, the burglar still got away with some of his wife's expensive jewelry.
Swanson said he notified police only for insurance purposes.
Swanson said he would have upheld his promise to let the thief go had he not taken the items.
Swanson said he believes the men crossed paths for a reason.
"I do believe God put us together and protected me," he said.
Sorry no more my server's insane today......(sniff! sniff!!)
Friday, September 7, 2007
My Joke for today
Wild Irish Ho's
An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.
"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera , and..."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."
har har har!!!!
An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.
"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera , and..."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."
har har har!!!!
Thursday, September 6, 2007
A peep into a man's[underwear] world
Boxers versus Briefs
A comparative essay
By Bruce McBaxter
Sure, laugh all you want, but briefs have been my closest companions all these few decades of my life. There's nowhere I haven't gone without them—school, work, airplanes, the subway, stores, ferries, soccer pitches, ski hills, ocean-faring container ships, Wall Drug in South Dakota, a baptism dunk tank, Finland, traffic court, the great American wilderness, Grand Central Station, Tijuana. Even, occasionally, the swimming pool. I suspect you'd say the same for whatever you're wearing under your pants—assuming you're wearing anything at all.
Underwear is one of the great human equalizers. That rich guy in the mansion on the hill? He wears underwear, just like you do. Of course his is made of pure silk woven with fine threads of real gold, but that's beside the point. He wears them. You wear them. You guys are simpatico.
For most men, that's about as complex as underwear gets. They're not something we think—or talk—much about. A non-scientific survey of the guys who live on my street reveals … nothing. I have no idea whether my male neighbors wear boxers or briefs—or the much-ballyhooed boxer-briefs, or thongs, or women's underwear—because the "Hi, how ya doin'? So whatchya got on under there?" line of casual questioning will likely lead to a slow backing away followed by an uncomfortable stare and the closing of doors and drapes when you later step outside.
Unlike the sensual relationship many women have with their undergarments, men don't spend a lot of time thinking about underwear. We find a brand and fit that work and we stick with it. If we spend time thinking about our underwear—because they're too tight or too loose or won't stay put—it's a bad day in Dodge.
Even shopping for underwear is blasé. At the department store (have you noticed there isn't a Victoria's Secret retail equivalent for men?), where everything from silk to cotton to nylon undergarments available in various sizes, lengths, and stretches are available, men generally sneak up to the shelf containing their skivvies of choice, maybe hide them under the shirt they're thinking of buying as they walk around, and pay for them with as little conversation as possible. Put them in a bag and get out.
When it comes to briefs versus boxers, I suspect that most guys my age (37) went into adulthood wearing whatever style of underwear they were given right after potty training. This was probably the same style Dad wore all those years down in the coal mine. Perhaps because the Vietnam generation didn't have Eminem's drooping pants-waist as a cultural icon, the wearing of boxers was less of a fashion benchmark than it is today. I am vaguely aware of a switching-to-boxers revolution occurring in the mid-1990s, but by then I was out of college and well on the road to wherever it is I'm going. I didn't then, nor do I today, have frat brothers to impress.
And yet, after half a lifetime of wearing proud-to-be-me tighty whities, I recently gave traditional boxers a two-week test drive. My primary impetus was to get some relief during a summer heat wave. As the temperature crept over 85 (yep, that's a heat wave in Seattle), I felt a palpably greater degree of sweating and discomfort in the nether regions like never before. What I pined for was air—as in, circulation. As the mercury rose, those tight cotton briefs turned into fiberglass insulating foam. New thoughts into the nature of genital garmentation were born and I was suddenly on a mission.
While some would correlate the personalities of briefs and boxers wearers to those of PC and Mac users, or those who prefer vanilla to double-fudge chunk rocky road, I say nay. It isn't that black and white. When it comes to choosing briefs, boxers, or the middle-ground boxer briefs, you have to take the whole package (pardon the pun) into account, which includes a fair evaluation of each of the four universally accepted Underwear Factors: Dribble, Dangle, Dazzle, and Double.Call me an "understudy" if you will, but here's what I learned during my two-week briefs re-evaluation. All garments sampled were of reputable quality and roughly the middle of the price range.
Dribble:
Let's face it—you don't always get every last little bit of drainage out of your system when standing at the urinal. The nice thing about close-fitting cotton briefs is that any liquid reserve that makes its way to freedom is nicely absorbed. With loose-fitting boxers, I found said reserve sometimes traveling down my pant leg. Nope, it's not a pretty image or feeling knowing you mildly pissed yourself and it may be showing. Sure, this could be chalked up to "operator error," but when you've spent a lifetime not knowing such a problem could exist, perhaps a grace period is permitted. Either way, this could be an ongoing problem—and those extra few second standing and shaking at the loo is time taken away from a Lost commercial break.Advantage: briefs and boxer briefs.
Dangle:
One of the reasons I—and I suspect it's true for many others—have stuck with briefs over the years is because of the snug feeling they give. Everything more or less feels held together. This is especially true where sports are concerned, but it's nice even for just regular old walking around (insert Elaine's Seinfeld quote here). For boxers adherents, I suspect the looseness is just as appealing. The preference may also have to do with natural endowment—either the need for more room or for "police line do not cross" style containment. Some claim that briefs reduce sperm count, but my two happy offspring that arrived all too easily seem to counter that argument.Advantage: three-way tie due to personal preference.
Dazzle:
I'm not one to prattle about aimlessly in my bare necessities, but in certain situations—say the locker room or the bedroom—if you want to avoid ridicule, even some gentle teasing from your significant other, briefs probably aren't the way to go. I can say for certain my wife likes the appearance of boxers far more than the other two options. And if I'm going to be the butt of a mysterious de-pantsing in public, I'd rather be left standing at the bus stop in something that resembles shorts over a slightly more materialized jock strap.Advantage: boxers.
Double:
The "double" I refer to is the roughly double amount of material one needs to stuff into his pants—and keep it there—while wearing boxers and boxer briefs. This was consistently the most frustrating aspect during my two-week underwear assessment. With briefs there's no worry. You put them on and for the most part they stay put. With loose-fitting boxers I had to keep tucking them in at the store, in the parking lot, at my son's preschool. I also found certain pairs of low-waisted jeans didn't want to stay on my waist while worn over boxers. This wasn't fun. And while boxer briefs are a tad less moveable by design than loose-fitting boxers, I encountered with them a different problem—they wanted to rise up my leg. I realize there are boxer designs out there that try to combat these migration issues, but I suspect this is a problem endemic to the anti-brief.Advantage: briefsAnd so, on the balance, this guy is sticking with briefs. I have a drawer full of boxers and boxer briefs now, so there may be times I'll wear something different—especially if the certain somebody in my life persists in smirking and calling my briefs tighty whities. But the mild ridicule is a good trade for not having to think about what's under my pants—and where it's creeping to next.
A comparative essay
By Bruce McBaxter
Sure, laugh all you want, but briefs have been my closest companions all these few decades of my life. There's nowhere I haven't gone without them—school, work, airplanes, the subway, stores, ferries, soccer pitches, ski hills, ocean-faring container ships, Wall Drug in South Dakota, a baptism dunk tank, Finland, traffic court, the great American wilderness, Grand Central Station, Tijuana. Even, occasionally, the swimming pool. I suspect you'd say the same for whatever you're wearing under your pants—assuming you're wearing anything at all.
Underwear is one of the great human equalizers. That rich guy in the mansion on the hill? He wears underwear, just like you do. Of course his is made of pure silk woven with fine threads of real gold, but that's beside the point. He wears them. You wear them. You guys are simpatico.
For most men, that's about as complex as underwear gets. They're not something we think—or talk—much about. A non-scientific survey of the guys who live on my street reveals … nothing. I have no idea whether my male neighbors wear boxers or briefs—or the much-ballyhooed boxer-briefs, or thongs, or women's underwear—because the "Hi, how ya doin'? So whatchya got on under there?" line of casual questioning will likely lead to a slow backing away followed by an uncomfortable stare and the closing of doors and drapes when you later step outside.
Unlike the sensual relationship many women have with their undergarments, men don't spend a lot of time thinking about underwear. We find a brand and fit that work and we stick with it. If we spend time thinking about our underwear—because they're too tight or too loose or won't stay put—it's a bad day in Dodge.
Even shopping for underwear is blasé. At the department store (have you noticed there isn't a Victoria's Secret retail equivalent for men?), where everything from silk to cotton to nylon undergarments available in various sizes, lengths, and stretches are available, men generally sneak up to the shelf containing their skivvies of choice, maybe hide them under the shirt they're thinking of buying as they walk around, and pay for them with as little conversation as possible. Put them in a bag and get out.
When it comes to briefs versus boxers, I suspect that most guys my age (37) went into adulthood wearing whatever style of underwear they were given right after potty training. This was probably the same style Dad wore all those years down in the coal mine. Perhaps because the Vietnam generation didn't have Eminem's drooping pants-waist as a cultural icon, the wearing of boxers was less of a fashion benchmark than it is today. I am vaguely aware of a switching-to-boxers revolution occurring in the mid-1990s, but by then I was out of college and well on the road to wherever it is I'm going. I didn't then, nor do I today, have frat brothers to impress.
And yet, after half a lifetime of wearing proud-to-be-me tighty whities, I recently gave traditional boxers a two-week test drive. My primary impetus was to get some relief during a summer heat wave. As the temperature crept over 85 (yep, that's a heat wave in Seattle), I felt a palpably greater degree of sweating and discomfort in the nether regions like never before. What I pined for was air—as in, circulation. As the mercury rose, those tight cotton briefs turned into fiberglass insulating foam. New thoughts into the nature of genital garmentation were born and I was suddenly on a mission.
While some would correlate the personalities of briefs and boxers wearers to those of PC and Mac users, or those who prefer vanilla to double-fudge chunk rocky road, I say nay. It isn't that black and white. When it comes to choosing briefs, boxers, or the middle-ground boxer briefs, you have to take the whole package (pardon the pun) into account, which includes a fair evaluation of each of the four universally accepted Underwear Factors: Dribble, Dangle, Dazzle, and Double.Call me an "understudy" if you will, but here's what I learned during my two-week briefs re-evaluation. All garments sampled were of reputable quality and roughly the middle of the price range.
Dribble:
Let's face it—you don't always get every last little bit of drainage out of your system when standing at the urinal. The nice thing about close-fitting cotton briefs is that any liquid reserve that makes its way to freedom is nicely absorbed. With loose-fitting boxers, I found said reserve sometimes traveling down my pant leg. Nope, it's not a pretty image or feeling knowing you mildly pissed yourself and it may be showing. Sure, this could be chalked up to "operator error," but when you've spent a lifetime not knowing such a problem could exist, perhaps a grace period is permitted. Either way, this could be an ongoing problem—and those extra few second standing and shaking at the loo is time taken away from a Lost commercial break.Advantage: briefs and boxer briefs.
Dangle:
One of the reasons I—and I suspect it's true for many others—have stuck with briefs over the years is because of the snug feeling they give. Everything more or less feels held together. This is especially true where sports are concerned, but it's nice even for just regular old walking around (insert Elaine's Seinfeld quote here). For boxers adherents, I suspect the looseness is just as appealing. The preference may also have to do with natural endowment—either the need for more room or for "police line do not cross" style containment. Some claim that briefs reduce sperm count, but my two happy offspring that arrived all too easily seem to counter that argument.Advantage: three-way tie due to personal preference.
Dazzle:
I'm not one to prattle about aimlessly in my bare necessities, but in certain situations—say the locker room or the bedroom—if you want to avoid ridicule, even some gentle teasing from your significant other, briefs probably aren't the way to go. I can say for certain my wife likes the appearance of boxers far more than the other two options. And if I'm going to be the butt of a mysterious de-pantsing in public, I'd rather be left standing at the bus stop in something that resembles shorts over a slightly more materialized jock strap.Advantage: boxers.
Double:
The "double" I refer to is the roughly double amount of material one needs to stuff into his pants—and keep it there—while wearing boxers and boxer briefs. This was consistently the most frustrating aspect during my two-week underwear assessment. With briefs there's no worry. You put them on and for the most part they stay put. With loose-fitting boxers I had to keep tucking them in at the store, in the parking lot, at my son's preschool. I also found certain pairs of low-waisted jeans didn't want to stay on my waist while worn over boxers. This wasn't fun. And while boxer briefs are a tad less moveable by design than loose-fitting boxers, I encountered with them a different problem—they wanted to rise up my leg. I realize there are boxer designs out there that try to combat these migration issues, but I suspect this is a problem endemic to the anti-brief.Advantage: briefsAnd so, on the balance, this guy is sticking with briefs. I have a drawer full of boxers and boxer briefs now, so there may be times I'll wear something different—especially if the certain somebody in my life persists in smirking and calling my briefs tighty whities. But the mild ridicule is a good trade for not having to think about what's under my pants—and where it's creeping to next.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
This is so wild...............
A Scorned Husband
Sunday, June 26, 2005
I heard of a story that was so comical but managed to send the right message across. Though it was jungle justice, I quite understand why laws were taken into certain hands and pray that people learn a thing or two from it. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but this time it was a case of hell hath no fury like a man’s dignity stolen from him! Apparently some man’s wife was having an affair with another woman’s husband. You might say, " Same old, same old! Yawn, yawn”. But ah ha, there is a twist to this one! When the man found out through the other man’s wife, as is usually the case, he called his own wife to order and cautioned her to stop her atrocious crime and she promised to keep her legs crossed to all and sundry except him. But much as the woman tried, Mr. Boyfriend would not let her be! He bombarded her with flowers, texts, money and what have you! So relentless was he in his pursuit that she fell prey to his advances finding it difficult to resist the allure of the so-called ‘forbidden fruit’. This time though, she was a lot more discreet but she obviously underestimated the tentacles of her husband who had both his eyes and ears to the ground this time around. No do, no do, when her husband found out yet again that she was still collecting ‘jara’ from her erstwhile lover, he decided, once and for all, to deal with the other party this time, man to man.
Unknown to Mr. Boyfriend, the husband hired somebody to stalk him while he decided on how to deal with him. One fine evening, his spy tailed the guy to a hotel he had apparently booked for another rendezvous with his wife. The husband cross-checked at home and realized the wife was planning to go and visit her ‘aunty’. He feigned ignorance but noticed the glint in her eyes, which she was too euphoric anticipation of her forthcoming tryst to conceal. But like a man looking at the bigger picture, he swallowed his pride and took it all in his stride knowing his plan for that evening would bring her to her senses fast enough! Funny enough all along, and even up to this moment, he had no intention of leaving his wife and was ready to do literally anything to keep her. But after she got dressed ready to leave for her ‘aunt’s’, he picked a huge fight with her, seized her mobile phone, took the land phone out of the bedroom, locked her inside there, also locked the front door and even the gate then warned her that if she as much as even called for the maiguard, he would kill her on his return! Something told her he wasn’t joking so she wisely respected herself and did as instructed. That is another thing about adulterers. No matter how the secret affair is doing them gizz gizz, they know when to call themselves to order and she was not prepared to throw her marriage to the dogs no matter how sweet Mr. Boyfriend’s flavor was! If we dey cry make we see road! They call it last card check! You might ask how the husband found out about their rendezvous, but chill first.
My advice to straying women, beware of your staff more so drivers, especially the long term ones! Apparently hubby was gathering potential information from the driver who was singing like a canary! Money talks. With his weapon of knowledge, he decided to kill the rat in his marriage once and for all! On getting to the venue for the ‘love fest’ (thanks to her driver), he proceeded with three of his friends to hotel room. The imprisoned wife had no way of reaching her lover to tell him the change of plans and besides, she was oblivious of her husband’s game plan. Little did she know the impending doom about to befall her sweetheart. And even if she did, was she going to uproot the burglary proof at the window in her bid to get out? She wrongly assumed her husband was acting on one of his jealous rages and understandably took it in her stride. She just felt if her lover did not hear from her he would know the coast is not clear and understand the unspoken rule in infidelity, which is once you do not hear from each other, you do not call because the silence in itself is a message. Anyway, the husband located the room number like a seasoned detective. A role he did not think he would ever play when he was blissfully saying ‘I do’. Ah! Life and it’s unending surprises huh? The things we do for love. Was he carrying a gun to the hotel you ask? Oh no! That is too conventional but I can a sure you the ‘weapon’ he used did a lot more damage! Besides, as it was not a Western movie, a gun was not appropriate though very tempting at the time I might add. His weapon, my dear, was in human form. You see, a few days before, hussy and his friends had painstakingly concocted a plan they knew would leave a dent in Mr. Boyfriend’s memory for the rest of his life! Apparently they searched and found a heavily built raging homosexual whose stature wasn’t the only thing gigantic about him! Catch my drift? Let’s just say he was the envy of many men who were relieved he was homosexual! Apparently as the Crown King of faggots, he had been known to initiate even the most unwilling members into his ‘world’. Don’t ask me how they located this specimen but when you are pushed to the wall you would be amazed at how fermented your mind can get. Since the matter on hand was a ‘d…. thing’ the scorned husband thought the best message to give his trespasser was to give him a taste of his own medicine only this time, through a different entrance! Getting the picture now? Hang on, story never finish, don’t rush me I beg!
Anyway with Crown King in tow, together with his friends, all five able bodied men headed for the culprit’s room. They had wisely gotten a waiter to escort them and asked him to knock on the door claiming to be Room Service, which is another thing for erstwhile lovers to watch out for! Don’t be so quick to open up as you never know who or what might be waiting for you on the other side! Yes, there was ‘room service’ quite all right but certainly not the kind he had in mind! When the waiter knocked, they all stepped out of view. Mr. Boyfriend whistled to the door (in a good mood naturally) and casually enquired who it was. As soon as he heard ‘room service’ he opened the door clad in a toweling robe as he’d just had a shower. Greatest mistake of his life! I must say he was ‘the whole nine yards’ kinda man. He wanted to make the most of the hotels’ services and spoil himself a little before devouring another man’s wife with glee. After all he paid for it and deserved his money’s worth not so? I’m sure he must have also done a few sit-ups for good measure as he had his ‘stud’ image to protect huh? But as soon as he saw his ‘guests’, he knew they were not there for a cup of coffee and ‘sweet sensation’ was not on the menu for that day! Even if the husband had second thoughts about his revenge, just seeing his wife’s lover semi-naked in a robe must have refueled his anger!! For one millisecond, Mr. Boyfriend must have closed his eyes and wished he was far far away from what was before him but alas reality brought him back to earth with ten angry eyes staring at him!! He realized his fatal mistake and made a futile attempt to shut the door but was overpowered by five irate men who imagined the same thing happening to their wives! (Minus Crown King of course, as women were obviously not his thing).
As we all know, nothing can fuel a man’s fire more than imagining another man on top of his jewel! Very few things top that on the list of ‘10 reasons to kill’ or what do you think? As soon as they barged in, they paid the waiter off and warned him not to tell a soul what he had just witnessed. Being a man and probably a married one, he nodded understandably. Of course by this time, Mr. Boyfriend was on his knees begging for mercy like his life depended on it. Which it did really! He wisely chose not to mention God in the scheme of things. In his mind he must have known that would not augur well considering the circumstances. Of course his pleas fell on deaf ears. He was a quivering mess with catarrh running down his nostrils unabashedly but at that point, I’m positive he did not give a flying toss about his looks and probably blamed it, albeit briefly, for putting him in this predicament. He was wailing like a village woman, dignity and decorum long forgotten. And nobody thought to take a camera? It would have made interesting viewing for later with some chilled beer for good measure. As soon as Crown King was given the go-ahead, the remaining four men pinned him down against the table while Mr. Boyfriend made his debut, albeit forcefully, into the world of sodomy! There was a lot of moaning and grunting as is the case with copulation, but something tells me it wasn’t one of pleasure as is the case with his punisher’s wife. During the ‘ritual’ the friends kept on telling him “That is what you get for sleeping with another man’s wife!" Only after the act, did the husband lean to him and say in the calmest whisper, “This is just a taste of what is to come should you touch my wife again!" I bet the message, though quietly said, was the loudest whisper Mr. Boyfriend had ever heard in his life! Rape is bad and horrible for women. It is emotionally wrenching and physically repulsive but it cannot hold a candle next to enforced sodomy. I can only imagine it would be tenfold for a man! Only a heterosexual man can fathom the excruciating pain, both mental and physical, of enforced sodomy more so initiated by a rival. But only a scorned husband would cause another man that kind of pain. He watched the victim cry bitter tears. He saw the shame in his eyes that far outweighed his physical pain and he felt vindicated knowing the guy has walked the same journey of anguish like he, the husband had walked in the past few months. Gone was the charm, gone was the wit, gone was the finesse that embodied Mr. Charming Personified. In its place was a beaten, broken man. Physically, emotionally and spiritually, he was destroyed in every sense of the word and all for what? Five minutes of pleasure or maximum 10/20 minutes on a good day? He just knelt down and covered his sore blood stained anus with his towel trying, albeit failing woefully, to salvage some form of respectability considering the circumstances. He could not even muster the strength to voice an apology to the scorned husband because his punishment had put paid to that.
Never in his wildest dreams did he expect what befell him. He must have thought he was beyond reproach otherwise why else would he still continue a relationship with a woman whose husband had not only found out, but had warned her about? Who was he going to report the case to now? What judge would give him a listening ear? Was he ready to go public with the rape charge? Was he ready to let the world know he had been sodomized and why? How was he going to explain his bleeding ‘used-to-be virgin’ backside to his wife at home? Would he be able to take a crap for the next few days? Those were questions that ran through my mind and I’m sure must have run through his mind in his sober moment of reflection. He crossed the line and paid a very high price. Now, most men might not go that far but you can never underestimate the wrath of a man when it comes to revenge. So you men out there thinking you are having one up on another man’s property, remember this story o! Be warned!!!
Culled from a website....from d date u can see it's an old story.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
I heard of a story that was so comical but managed to send the right message across. Though it was jungle justice, I quite understand why laws were taken into certain hands and pray that people learn a thing or two from it. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but this time it was a case of hell hath no fury like a man’s dignity stolen from him! Apparently some man’s wife was having an affair with another woman’s husband. You might say, " Same old, same old! Yawn, yawn”. But ah ha, there is a twist to this one! When the man found out through the other man’s wife, as is usually the case, he called his own wife to order and cautioned her to stop her atrocious crime and she promised to keep her legs crossed to all and sundry except him. But much as the woman tried, Mr. Boyfriend would not let her be! He bombarded her with flowers, texts, money and what have you! So relentless was he in his pursuit that she fell prey to his advances finding it difficult to resist the allure of the so-called ‘forbidden fruit’. This time though, she was a lot more discreet but she obviously underestimated the tentacles of her husband who had both his eyes and ears to the ground this time around. No do, no do, when her husband found out yet again that she was still collecting ‘jara’ from her erstwhile lover, he decided, once and for all, to deal with the other party this time, man to man.
Unknown to Mr. Boyfriend, the husband hired somebody to stalk him while he decided on how to deal with him. One fine evening, his spy tailed the guy to a hotel he had apparently booked for another rendezvous with his wife. The husband cross-checked at home and realized the wife was planning to go and visit her ‘aunty’. He feigned ignorance but noticed the glint in her eyes, which she was too euphoric anticipation of her forthcoming tryst to conceal. But like a man looking at the bigger picture, he swallowed his pride and took it all in his stride knowing his plan for that evening would bring her to her senses fast enough! Funny enough all along, and even up to this moment, he had no intention of leaving his wife and was ready to do literally anything to keep her. But after she got dressed ready to leave for her ‘aunt’s’, he picked a huge fight with her, seized her mobile phone, took the land phone out of the bedroom, locked her inside there, also locked the front door and even the gate then warned her that if she as much as even called for the maiguard, he would kill her on his return! Something told her he wasn’t joking so she wisely respected herself and did as instructed. That is another thing about adulterers. No matter how the secret affair is doing them gizz gizz, they know when to call themselves to order and she was not prepared to throw her marriage to the dogs no matter how sweet Mr. Boyfriend’s flavor was! If we dey cry make we see road! They call it last card check! You might ask how the husband found out about their rendezvous, but chill first.
My advice to straying women, beware of your staff more so drivers, especially the long term ones! Apparently hubby was gathering potential information from the driver who was singing like a canary! Money talks. With his weapon of knowledge, he decided to kill the rat in his marriage once and for all! On getting to the venue for the ‘love fest’ (thanks to her driver), he proceeded with three of his friends to hotel room. The imprisoned wife had no way of reaching her lover to tell him the change of plans and besides, she was oblivious of her husband’s game plan. Little did she know the impending doom about to befall her sweetheart. And even if she did, was she going to uproot the burglary proof at the window in her bid to get out? She wrongly assumed her husband was acting on one of his jealous rages and understandably took it in her stride. She just felt if her lover did not hear from her he would know the coast is not clear and understand the unspoken rule in infidelity, which is once you do not hear from each other, you do not call because the silence in itself is a message. Anyway, the husband located the room number like a seasoned detective. A role he did not think he would ever play when he was blissfully saying ‘I do’. Ah! Life and it’s unending surprises huh? The things we do for love. Was he carrying a gun to the hotel you ask? Oh no! That is too conventional but I can a sure you the ‘weapon’ he used did a lot more damage! Besides, as it was not a Western movie, a gun was not appropriate though very tempting at the time I might add. His weapon, my dear, was in human form. You see, a few days before, hussy and his friends had painstakingly concocted a plan they knew would leave a dent in Mr. Boyfriend’s memory for the rest of his life! Apparently they searched and found a heavily built raging homosexual whose stature wasn’t the only thing gigantic about him! Catch my drift? Let’s just say he was the envy of many men who were relieved he was homosexual! Apparently as the Crown King of faggots, he had been known to initiate even the most unwilling members into his ‘world’. Don’t ask me how they located this specimen but when you are pushed to the wall you would be amazed at how fermented your mind can get. Since the matter on hand was a ‘d…. thing’ the scorned husband thought the best message to give his trespasser was to give him a taste of his own medicine only this time, through a different entrance! Getting the picture now? Hang on, story never finish, don’t rush me I beg!
Anyway with Crown King in tow, together with his friends, all five able bodied men headed for the culprit’s room. They had wisely gotten a waiter to escort them and asked him to knock on the door claiming to be Room Service, which is another thing for erstwhile lovers to watch out for! Don’t be so quick to open up as you never know who or what might be waiting for you on the other side! Yes, there was ‘room service’ quite all right but certainly not the kind he had in mind! When the waiter knocked, they all stepped out of view. Mr. Boyfriend whistled to the door (in a good mood naturally) and casually enquired who it was. As soon as he heard ‘room service’ he opened the door clad in a toweling robe as he’d just had a shower. Greatest mistake of his life! I must say he was ‘the whole nine yards’ kinda man. He wanted to make the most of the hotels’ services and spoil himself a little before devouring another man’s wife with glee. After all he paid for it and deserved his money’s worth not so? I’m sure he must have also done a few sit-ups for good measure as he had his ‘stud’ image to protect huh? But as soon as he saw his ‘guests’, he knew they were not there for a cup of coffee and ‘sweet sensation’ was not on the menu for that day! Even if the husband had second thoughts about his revenge, just seeing his wife’s lover semi-naked in a robe must have refueled his anger!! For one millisecond, Mr. Boyfriend must have closed his eyes and wished he was far far away from what was before him but alas reality brought him back to earth with ten angry eyes staring at him!! He realized his fatal mistake and made a futile attempt to shut the door but was overpowered by five irate men who imagined the same thing happening to their wives! (Minus Crown King of course, as women were obviously not his thing).
As we all know, nothing can fuel a man’s fire more than imagining another man on top of his jewel! Very few things top that on the list of ‘10 reasons to kill’ or what do you think? As soon as they barged in, they paid the waiter off and warned him not to tell a soul what he had just witnessed. Being a man and probably a married one, he nodded understandably. Of course by this time, Mr. Boyfriend was on his knees begging for mercy like his life depended on it. Which it did really! He wisely chose not to mention God in the scheme of things. In his mind he must have known that would not augur well considering the circumstances. Of course his pleas fell on deaf ears. He was a quivering mess with catarrh running down his nostrils unabashedly but at that point, I’m positive he did not give a flying toss about his looks and probably blamed it, albeit briefly, for putting him in this predicament. He was wailing like a village woman, dignity and decorum long forgotten. And nobody thought to take a camera? It would have made interesting viewing for later with some chilled beer for good measure. As soon as Crown King was given the go-ahead, the remaining four men pinned him down against the table while Mr. Boyfriend made his debut, albeit forcefully, into the world of sodomy! There was a lot of moaning and grunting as is the case with copulation, but something tells me it wasn’t one of pleasure as is the case with his punisher’s wife. During the ‘ritual’ the friends kept on telling him “That is what you get for sleeping with another man’s wife!" Only after the act, did the husband lean to him and say in the calmest whisper, “This is just a taste of what is to come should you touch my wife again!" I bet the message, though quietly said, was the loudest whisper Mr. Boyfriend had ever heard in his life! Rape is bad and horrible for women. It is emotionally wrenching and physically repulsive but it cannot hold a candle next to enforced sodomy. I can only imagine it would be tenfold for a man! Only a heterosexual man can fathom the excruciating pain, both mental and physical, of enforced sodomy more so initiated by a rival. But only a scorned husband would cause another man that kind of pain. He watched the victim cry bitter tears. He saw the shame in his eyes that far outweighed his physical pain and he felt vindicated knowing the guy has walked the same journey of anguish like he, the husband had walked in the past few months. Gone was the charm, gone was the wit, gone was the finesse that embodied Mr. Charming Personified. In its place was a beaten, broken man. Physically, emotionally and spiritually, he was destroyed in every sense of the word and all for what? Five minutes of pleasure or maximum 10/20 minutes on a good day? He just knelt down and covered his sore blood stained anus with his towel trying, albeit failing woefully, to salvage some form of respectability considering the circumstances. He could not even muster the strength to voice an apology to the scorned husband because his punishment had put paid to that.
Never in his wildest dreams did he expect what befell him. He must have thought he was beyond reproach otherwise why else would he still continue a relationship with a woman whose husband had not only found out, but had warned her about? Who was he going to report the case to now? What judge would give him a listening ear? Was he ready to go public with the rape charge? Was he ready to let the world know he had been sodomized and why? How was he going to explain his bleeding ‘used-to-be virgin’ backside to his wife at home? Would he be able to take a crap for the next few days? Those were questions that ran through my mind and I’m sure must have run through his mind in his sober moment of reflection. He crossed the line and paid a very high price. Now, most men might not go that far but you can never underestimate the wrath of a man when it comes to revenge. So you men out there thinking you are having one up on another man’s property, remember this story o! Be warned!!!
Culled from a website....from d date u can see it's an old story.
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