25 things I'd say to 20 year old me

First off, Happy New Year all…I trust 2013 is doing not too badly? Great… So I’m leafing through twitter, and I see d above topic and it sort of moves me…I decide, yea, I have a few things to say to my 20yr old self if by some science fiction thingy am teleported to the past just for a few minutes for the sole purpose of preventing some mistakes,(totally a figment of imagination of course). Here we go *ahem*: 1. Do not neglect The Lord your God…only He can see you through life. 2. Do not fall for the guy from Ekiti u meet during ur nysc years…you deserve better. 3. You will most likely meet a guy from the South-South(akwa ibom I think)…give him a chance…he means well. 4. If by chance you fail to do that do not date/sleep with the tall fair guy you meet afterwards…he doesn’t love you. 5. Focus a lot on prayer, and intake of The Word and fellowship with brethren. 6. Tell God you need to know Him, His ways…you need Him to Lead you. 7. Do meaningful stuff..(Get professional qualifications, have a lot of investments, invest in looking good). 8. If you can, relocate to where your elder sis is and stay there….where you think you are does not have the opportunities and exposure you require. 9. If by chance you meet the old friend in your school days who you thought you really liked(who also hails from Ekiti), and you want to date him, DON’T!!!!! Seriously, DON’T… 10. If you meet a guy who happens to be your Dad’s townsman…give him a chance too..he’s nice even if you don’t think so.. 11. You know what, I think you should tell God you want to abstain till that special day…believe me..indulging is overated. 12. Doing whatever you want because you can does NOT guarantee happiness and satisfaction…do not be deceived…God’s Way is the BEST way. 13. You would most likely meet a tall, fair, HANDSOME, comfortable/wealthy guy from a part of your state(not necessarily ur dad’s side), and you will like him SO MUCH…tell him how you feel so he can politely turn you down…maybe dat will help u forget him and move on quickly. 14. Do not date/sleep with any guy you meet who works/worked with your elder sister…bad market(future joke). 15. Do not date/sleep with a guy you knew in ur uni days…not anyone he knows(trust me…bad move). 16. Do not put yourself in a position where you feel slighted and cheated and used by any male…u can actually avoid dat..so pls do….at all costs!!!! 17. Don’t borrow so much…and don’t spend too much either…oh btw, you’ll have a serious thing for smartphones…so buy worthwhile, durable, not-so-expensive ones. 18. Never neglect your friends(male and female). 19. You need to learn to say ‘NO’.... a lot!!!! …don’t be scared, you won’t get beat up or killed…highest you’d get is a sulk and a few mad looks. 20. I know you hate fights, but don’t let people get away with doing stuff that leaves you grossly inconvenienced…emotionally and otherwise. 21. People like getting away with a lot of stuff…let NO ONE escape…(Er…try do it nicely so u won’t be labelled a psycho) 22. In a nutshell, all I've being saying is be bold. 23. Learn how to save…you will need that habit. 24. Animes rock #justsaying 25. Never forget, God’s Way is the best way. Phew!!!!!!!!!!!! So what would you say to your 20 year old self? Let it rip(lol)… [Not bad for a first post of the year(lol)]

Introducing Animes

aaarrrhhhh tried to post this on wordpress; couldn't, so I will try to post it here...I am going to talk about something I absolutely love. Animes or otherwise referred to as manga. They are stories in comic forms, and depending on how good they are, are converted to television series(cartoon of course). In Japan, animes lovers are branded 'otakus'..so yea, I have become an otaku(hahahaha). So without further ado(the good stuff I wrote on wordpress seems to have vanished from my mind completely), I will introduce a few of my favorite tv series..I am not really a comic fan because the tv series have all the action, great soundtracks, etc etc etc.....here goes. Bleach: It's a popular series that has run for over ten(10) years, written by Tite Kubo; about a fifteen(15) year old boy(when it began) now seventeen(17), who is able to see the dead. He one day runs into a death god(Shinigami in Japanese), and finds himself in all manner of battles to save his home, friends and even his neighbourhood...I love it because it has amazing soundtracks, is crazy funny, is action-packed and tiptoes around romance(hahahaha) Next up, is Naruto: This is the story of a kid who lost his parents at birth, the human vessel of a nine-tailed beast capable of wreaking great havoc on the earth if given the chance, hated, feared by his villagers, but doesn't let that defeat him..instead, he proves himself in battle as a student, ninja, team-mate and gradually begins to earn the respect of his villagers. It ran for two hundred and twenty(220) episodes..that is roughly five(5) years, and it has a sequel. Naruto Shippudden: This is the sequel of naruto, and is still running...Oh, did I mention the naruto series was written by a Masashi Kishimoto? Didn't think so..Hahaha. So, Shippudden is about the same Naruto Character, only older. It is still running, and has released over two hundred and fifty (250) episodes. One piece: Written by Eiichiro Oda, this anime has been run for fifteen(15) years and it is still running..its about a seventeen(17) year old boy who becomes a pirate with the objective of becoming the "Pirate King" and his sojourn to that title... love it crazy. Gintama: Ran for nine(9) years, about a samurai in an era where samurais hardly existed anymore, operates an odd jobs facility, gained more respect than the city Governor..hahahahaha...its a full comedy, everyday kind of thing. Written by Hideaki Sorachi. Really cool. Finally(getting a little pooped here), we have good old Fairy Tail: It is set in "the era of magic"...and is about an organisation that runs the best magic facility around...If I may say, this has one of the best soundtracks I have listened to. Has great action, comedy, and equally tip toes around romance(hahaha). It is written by Hiro Mashima, and has run for six(6) years. Okay, so this is the first part of my introduction to anime world, I will think of another aspect of the anime industry I will introduce you to. *wink*.. love you guys..and I hope wordpress gets this.

this coin

oooooss...minna-san(Japanese for hi everyone)...you will all excuse me, I have become an anime/manga addict...for those who don't know what that is, it is simply a Japanese story in form of a series...that is actually gist for another day...today I stumbled on two(2) articles that I could not help but share... it talks about marriage....the title is this coin..because it concerns a topic as old as mankind..marriage(interestingly, I attended a wedding ceremony today)....and I saw a writer give her candid opinion in that regard, and read another candid response from another writer...so I will post the links, and you guys go read them..... Frankly, I lean more towards the first article I read...because inasmuch as the writer is a three time divorcee, she had some pretty insightful opinions which could have been formed through experience. The article to me is self explanatory, and yes, has some good ideas one can imbibe...you must not do EVERTYTHING EVERYONE around you says... However, I do understand the second writer, she is leaning more towards self growth and development which is necessary as an individual. So, without further ado, may I present Tracy McMillan in "This is why you are not married" vs Teri Jenson in "Why You're not married anymore" If possible, I would like to know your own thoughts on this as you read....I put this up because I noticed I still have one or two passer-bys who happen to leaf through this site; I thank you for passing by, and crave your indulgence one more time. Arigatou minna-san(Thank you everyone)

here again

Dis blogsville is pretty boring these days o....hmmm..where's d action people???(Lol)

Ok so I have noticed d year is over again...august is around d corner, and am asking myself, how has d year been so far..in two words, not bad....stuff has happened..bombings, bomb scares, I got an armed robber scare in my neighbour hood once(unforgettable)..in fact since ders nothing to do lemme gist u....one fateful evening on my way home from work...armed with a parcel I had picked up early that day, and my takeaway dinner(I happened to eat out), the cab driver and I were engaged in small talk till we got to a turn leading to my estate gate...we saw people running off and cars speeding away...the cab guy said "armed robbers"...and put off d car, opened d door and ran off..I was momentarily stunned and in a state of panic opened d door and ran off..lucky for me my bag was on my lap so I grabbed that, and my food but not my parcel and bolted...I had never known fear like that night...I thought of getting shot, or beaten...and I kept feeling I wasn't fast enough bcos people kept passing me....now where was I running to? There happened to be a short cut to my estate..and that's where I was headed..but in my confusion ran into some sort of barricade...I wanted to hide there but I feared being found out so I took off again...theeeeen I noticed d running had stopped and people were asking what the hell was going on...I heard an angry person remark "una dey run una no even look wetin dey make u run"....of course I wasn't going to walk back to d gate so I promptly took d short cut and got home...called my sisters and my dad...and gisted them when I got home...in retrsopect it was pretty funny...but unconsciously whenever am going home I can't help but hope there won't be a repeat performance(lol)

encore??

I havent blogged in ages...except like on saturday night I think..and am trying to start again but I wonder will it be the same without the friends I made here? Afrobabe, Nikkisab, Florida, LG, Isi, Jinta, Atutupoyoyo, Carlang, Nyemoni, Unnaked...to mention but a few...those peeps made my blog world rock...and now they're gone(sad face)....so now am I going to start re-blogging, hoping to discover new blogspots; not forgetting every one mentioned above...will love and miss u all...o yea, i discovered a new one...luscious curves...great writing..and uh...wat else?

yea....peace and love

landmarks?

Here's the deal...I suck at descriptions...I suck a ddresses and street names..sometimes I even suck at dates..so I use the most popular thing known to man....yup, landmarks...it usually takes the form of buildings, objects, even events...so I have discovered a new landmark...d 5th of July 2011...I had a very interesting conversation with my elder sister...made an absolutely stunning, gorgeous, mind-blowing new friend, and dis night, I read a very inspiring blog post by my younger sister that happened to be written on that very date...it was an intersting day, the 5th of July...the beginning of many more intersting days to come..lol

one last look

in retrospect 2010 was........................(fill in d blanks;lets know how 2010 was for u)

mine was................will fill mine wen u fill urs:-D:p

:-(

ahem!!! here I am again...months later, one more failed relationshiop after, emotionally injured, financially crippled near paralyzed, mentally shaken, and yet d questions still linger "what if....could i have...could der be...will i....will there..." they wont jus bloody lemme alone...all i can say is am really sad...but heeeeeeeey.......woreva!!!

lol

19 Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person

This to me is interesting, and funny:-)


"As a writer, I avoid cliches like the plague...HAHA! But seriously, cliches are old, tired, and they show absolutely no thought. I mean, do I make you read that some guy's skin was as white as snow? No. It's a major insult to your intellect. So when I have to hear a cliche or overused saying in the real world, as a response to my newly single status or some other dating dilemma, it's offensive and frustrating."

Why do we have so many sayings and maxims for dating? A single gal is likely to get slammed with them ad nauseam as soon as she expresses any unhappiness at her situation.
Since we could all use a good laugh, I asked some friends and Twitter followers to send in their most hated adages. I know you've heard them all before, but I just couldn't believe how many there were! Here's a tiny compilation. Enjoy -- today, they're not directed at you!

It happens when you're not looking. "This is just bull. Some people find people when they're looking; some don't. You're not doing anything wrong by going out and meeting people." -Beth

There are plenty of fish in the sea. "I dated a guy whose last name was Fish. People just had a BLAST with that one." -Kelly

So, why are you single? "I generally dislike this question. I mean honestly, if I knew why, I don't think I would be single right now, now would I?!"Erica

You're too picky. "This may be true, but it feels like I'm getting criticized for my taste, vision, and close-mindedness -- when I'm already down." -Sarah

You'll find the right person for you. -Kelly

He's out there. -Kelly

It was just bad timing. "Like it's so easy to dismiss a guy on such an emotionless and objective reason." -Taryn

Just have fun with it! "Um, don't tell me how to date in my thirties when you got married at 24." -Maya

Have you tried online dating? "Duh!" -Elisa

He just wasn't the right guy for you. "I know! That's what I'm complaining about!" - Elisa

Well, when Steve and I first got together... "Wait, I still want to talk about me." -Elisa

When the time is right, you will meet someone. -Betsy

Wow, I wish I were single and in your shoes! "Really?! I'm pretty sure you CAN be single if you actually want to be. That there is an attainable dream, so if you aren't messing with me right now out of pity (which I suspect you are), please go for it!" -Kim

Your turn next [at weddings]. -Natlondon, via Twitter
It will happen when you least expect it. -dlegas05, via Twitter

Some guy is going to come along and ruin your career/life plans. "I am 32 and no one has ruined the last 10 years of plans." -frolicblog, via Twitter

But you're so pretty! Why don't you have a boyfriend? "There's just no graceful way to answer that." -earnesteats, via Twitter

It just wasn't meant to be. "Any of these platitudes are exponentially more annoying when coming from the mouths of smug marrieds." -Reberoodle, via Twitter

Sure, Steve rescues kids from abusive homes, donated my sister a kidney, and picks up fresh flowers for me daily on his way home from work, but will he QUIT IT with the sports on TV already? "Single people just hate to be complained to about petty relationship stuff. If you do this, I'm not going to want to hang out with you. (In fact, maybe I'll call Steve and ask him if he wants to watch the Yankees game?)" -Kim

Bottom line, if you're in a relationship or married and you don't have any specific, original advice or wisdom for your single friend -- and you must use an established saying -- we would prefer to hear neutral ones like, "This too shall pass" or "Take it one day at a time." They are so much more helpful and comforting -- you have no idea!

Also of note: not one person I polled mentioned they were tired of hearing, "He's just not that into you." I think that's because it's not condescending. And apparently, it's not overused. So that one is still OK to say.

Thanks for listening! :-D

8 Habits That Destroy Marriage

Yea I know, who made me the marriage expert yeah? Well, as usual, I found an article I deemed important enough to share so here we go:

We'll say it straight up: There's no good reason in the world to hang onto these habits. They aren't helping.

1. Nagging, nagging, nagging. We know about the squeaky wheel, but complaining loud and long gets you only short-term gains and builds up powerful discontent on your spouse's side.

2. Blaming, criticizing, and name-calling. These tactics belittle the person you promised to love, honor, and cherish; let you play angel to his or her devil; and don't address the responsibility you both share for your marital happiness.

3. Bullying, rudeness, and selfishness. These ugly power plays tell your partner that he or she doesn't count at all in your eyes.

4. Peacekeeping and passive placating. A "whatever you say, Dear" attitude may keep your home quieter but leaves you in the martyr's role. You'll end up angry, defensive, and a drudge. What fun is that?

5. Deploying logic all the time. Life isn't the starship Enterprise; playing the dispassionate Mr. Spock not only cuts you off from your feelings but also subtly tells your spouse that his or her feelings don't count either.

6. Throwing up distractions. You're just having fun, right? Think again. Being hyperactive, fooling around all the time, and refusing to focus—in conversation or in life—often is an attempt to avoid intimacy or difficult issues, which can be horribly frustrating for your mate.

7. Stonewalling. Another stall maneuver, stonewalling stops arguments and constructive discussions cold. Not much can happen when one spouse just won't talk about it.

8. Making unilateral decisions about the big things. Sometimes you have to pick the bathroom paint color on your own. But if you're making major decisions about your money, your time, your kids, and your family life, you're acting without accountability and cutting off the possibility of joint decision-making and deeper intimacy.

9 Things He Will Never Tell

Now I seem to be a hotmail...lifestyle fanatic cos I keep seeing great articles I cant help but share...I find this article particularly interesting and enlightening esp for we chics(just my thot)...depsite its been ages I blogged last.....damn I so need to keep up....ok so here we go:

Man's mouth is like the back of an armored truck. We like to keep the door to our thoughts closed, locked, and protected by armed guards.

Why? Simply because we fear what trouble would spill out if you knew everything we keep inside. We fear you'd think we were pigs or pansies, and frankly, we fear for our safety (there's no correct way to answer a question that includes the words "fat" or "tummy tuck").

That said, we'll let you borrow the key—just this once—and take a look in this truck of valuable insight. Inside, you'll see the very things a man will never tell you about himself—and a few about you.


Thing 1: I Love You
©iStockphoto.com/Stepan Popov
I love you more now than I did when we first met. I don't know why we never tell you, so let it be known that I do.

Of course, we adore the women who gave us the 2 best days of our lives: when our kids were born and our wedding day. Now how about I go ahead and give away that baseball card collection?

Thing 2: My Own Time
I want to be alone. Not forever, not every day, and not just because I need 17 seconds to take care of the second thing on this list.

Men just want guys' night out to hang, drink a pitcher, watch football. We don't bring it up as often as we want because we think you'll get insulted.

Look, wanting to distance ourselves from our home base doesn't mean we don't like the team we're playing for. Give me a couple of hours every week and it's like giving Viagra to our relationship. It'll be longer and better.

Thing 3: Role Reversals
I desperately want you to buy me a drink (or throw me to the floor). As a predatory species, we're used to doing all the hunting.

We buy drinks, make the call, send flowers. We're bred to hunt, and we accept that evolutionary responsibility. But we're a tired species too. We're tired of the miles we've traveled searching for you, the enemies we've fought to win your attention, the damn droughts we've had to endure.

All we want is for you to occasionally take on the role of predator. Please attack.

Thing 4: Fighting
I wish you'd fight like a guy. When two guys go at it on the basketball court, they get in each other's faces, yell, push, call each other pricks, then move on.

When you fight, I feel like I'm giving testimony you'll use against me in a trial 3 years from now.

That's why I flick to the Spanish channel when you want to mix it up. I'm exercising my right to remain silent, because I know it will be used against me in the court of you. Can't we just say what we need to, be done with it, and slap each other's butts?

Thing 5: Cards
I pick cards for you solely based on the picture. Really, how is some Hallmark hack going to properly sum up what I feel for the woman who sizzles my bacon? Gimme two kids holding hands, and it's a done deal.

Thing 6: My Hang-Ups
©iStockphoto.com/
I hate the way I look. You think you have issues? Men have more hang-ups than a telemarketer. We might walk around like chest-thumping primates, but our list of insecurities rivals yours.

Men may never admit they're bothered by their shoulder hair, or the fact that they're hung like a tugboat instead of a torpedo. But we're sure to pull out humor, intellect, money, or millions of other things we can control to compensate for the things we can't.

Thing 7: I'm Selfish
I'm selfish. The fact that I resist getting a dog doesn't mean I hate animals.

I see my future, and my future involves putting my hand in a plastic bag to pick up warm pug feces twice a day—for the next 12 years. The only thing I want to scoop 8,760 times in my life is butter pecan.

Thing 8: Singing
I'd much rather perform duets, but I have contractual obligations with my hormones to make solo albums. When it comes to the bedroom, women take offense if a man needs to take the microphone into his own hands—like it's a sign we're not satisfied with you.

Look, a solo performance is no substitute for the many beautiful tunes we've recorded together, but scheduling conflicts mean that we may occasionally need to riff by ourselves.

And hey, singing solo helps cure our insomnia, decrease stress, and keep us from putting finger-tapping indentations in your shoulder.

and finaaallllyyyyyyyyy
Thing 9: Girly Stuff
I like The Bachelor, Bioré nose strips, and piña coladas. Testosterone prevents us from admitting this to most women or within 500 feet of another penis. But be assured that we can call on estrogen reserves as needed.

Need someone to talk Bachelor smack with? Bring it on. Firestone made the best choice of them all, Bob's a doof, and Jesse's only shot at completing a pass all year was with Trish.

He's Not Perfect: Would You Marry Him Again?

This is MAJJJOOOOORR LOOONNGG....but MAJOR interesting(for those who are patient enough)
If you want the perfect marriage, go to a Doris Day movie. Actress Rita Wilson (married to actor Tom Hanks) learns a big fat Greek secret from her mother about long-term love.

It's a sunny, Sunday California morning. My husband is driving my mother, father, and two of our four children to church. This is the same church where I was baptized with my brother (two for the price of one!), where my sister was married and I was her maid of honor, and where my husband and I were married 23 years ago and both our youngest children were christened in the same baptismal font where, lo those many years ago, my brother's and my cries were applauded and celebrated.

Driving on the freeway, my mother, who is vibrantly curious after 89 years of life and 59 years of marriage, tells us about something she heard on the radio. She had been pondering this question, thanks to the airwaves: If you knew at 25 what you know today about your spouse, would you still marry the same person?

Since it is already a beautiful day, my husband and I add to its beauty by responding instantly, that, yes, we would marry each other knowing what we know now. My father, although not usually available to this sort of discussion, generously engages and answers that, yes, he would marry my mother all over again. My mother, always interested in good discussion, responds delightfully in her thick Greek accent as if she knows the question to the "Double Jeopardy" answer: "Not me!"

Now, please understand that my parents are Greek and Bulgarian. The idea that this is a subject that one would only discuss after five years of therapy never enters anyone's mind. (When you are Mediterranean, you just speak now, argue later ... or maybe you eat now, argue later.) Certainly, these two people, who are sitting with their arms brushing against each other, are not about to announce they are splitting up. I'm pretty sure that after nearly six decades, three children, and six grandchildren, they have the marriage thing down. But I have no idea where my mom is going with this.

Before we go anywhere, though, let's start at the beginning. In 1946 my Bulgarian dad "jumped ship" in Philadelphia, making his way to New York City, eagerly learning English while working at the St. Regis Hotel. My Greek mother had escaped from her ethnically Greek but geographically Albanian village during the war, arriving in New York via Athens with her mother, sister, and two brothers.

My parents met in 1950 in New York City at a Greek-Bulgarian dance. My dad eyed my mom across a crowded room and asked her to dance. He wooed her briefly and then asked her to marry him. My mother, still new to the United States, thought maybe she should wait a bit before she got married — sow some oats, or sew some coats, really, because that was her job at a factory. After a few dates, and no acceptance of my dad's proposal, they amicably parted ways.

A year later, they met again. A friend of my mother's saw my handsome dad across the dance floor and declared, "If you don't want him, I do. He's nice." There is nothing like someone else's recognition of a good catch to wake you up. My mom, now another year older, realized that she missed my dad, and that she'd only sewn coats, and had sown no oats. So she pushed her friend aside like some desperate contestant on Dancing with the Stars and box-stepped the night away.

My parents didn't have a sweep-you-off-your-feet sort of romance. They were both too practical for that. But they loved each other and saw the goodness each possessed. Soon they found themselves planning their wedding, their lives, and their future. About three weeks before the wedding, my dad had some concerns. He worried he might not be able to live up to my mom's expectations. My dad and she spent a few days apart and then talked about their expectations, which weren't major. My mom asked him to be baptized Greek Orthodox. No problem. My mom knew Dad wasn't the most romantic person in the world. Fine. Once they realized that they did want the same thing, they had a double wedding with my mom's brother and his wife on June 10, 1951.

After a few years in New York City, they got a call from my mom's sister and her husband, who'd moved to Los Angeles. So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly ... I mean, Hollywood. Swimming pools, movie stars, and the beginnings of a family. My mom was pregnant with my sister soon after arriving. Three and a half years after that, I was born, and then, two years later, my brother.

On the weekends, my dad would pile us all into the Batmobile, a 1950-something black Plymouth convertible with a push-button transmission, which resembled Bruce Wayne's very car, and take us to Griffith Park, in the shade of the Griffith Observatory, for his weekly volleyball game. My mom would wrangle us to fill jugs of water from a spout emerging from a stone wall that was supposedly "spring" water. Hey, in Greece water came out of a spring, why not in Hollywood? At home after the game, my dad would barbecue, Greek-style (no Southern barbecue sauce for us, only oregano, garlic, and lemon), and as the sun set, we kids would watch TV as my parents cleaned up.

I never remember my parents complaining. I never heard either of them say they were tired, or bored, or mad. I remember my dad saying, "God bless America" practically every day of my life. I remember my dad and his brother building an addition to our house one summer while we decamped to Oceanside to be near the beach and away from the dusty construction. I remember my mom sewing our bedspreads, curtains, and clothes and cooking Greek food but also making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in an attempt to assimilate. I remember my parents laughing together.

Not only did my parents laugh, they cracked us up, too. Get this: My mom would do impersonations of all the kids in the neighborhood. You haven't lived until you've heard a Greek immigrant lady say "bitchin'." My dad had his own special talents, as well. On one outing to the zoo, as we came upon the hyena cage, my dad started howling like a wolf and made the hyenas howl back at him. We could not believe that there, in the middle of Los Angeles, my dad was making hyenas talk to him. So, my mom could impersonate kids and my dad could impersonate animals. Go figure. We were like a Disney movie with an accent.

And now I'm here in the car on a Sunday, thinking, "Who knew? My mom not only impersonates teens but can also pretend she has been happy all these years. Because now she is saying maybe she made a mistake?" I remember something else she recently said about relationships. She announced, in her imitable Greek accent: "You know how they say, 'Opposites attract'? Well, later on, opposites attack!" I'm about to find out either that after 59 years of marriage my mom has been the Best Actress Ever or that the "opposition" has been attacking for some time unbeknownst to me. I tell my husband to make a left, not follow the car in front too closely (not that I'm bossy), and ask my mom what exactly she means.

She says, "Don't get me wrong. I love your dad. I always have. We created a beautiful life together and I wouldn't change a thing, but now I know that I like to talk. When I was younger, I didn't know how much I needed that. Back then, people married for life. I didn't really think about things like 'Will he watch The Ed Sullivan Show with me?' We both just wanted to have a good life and healthy kids. Do I wish we had long, soulful talks? Sure. If I had known then that I needed that, I may have chosen a different kind of person, but I also knew he was a very good man."

My parents didn't demand from each other what we seem to demand today from our relationships. My dad loved sports but didn't insist she be on the golf course handing him his driver. Instead, he taught my sister and brother to play. My mom didn't complain about his lack of conversation; she found other outlets. She had us kids, her friends, and her extended family.

My parents knew it was all right if not every single one of their needs were being met by the other, because commitment to the life they shared and created was a bigger reward than anything else. So what if my dad wasn't clued in on the latest gossip? Or that my mom was perfectly okay never learning to ride a bike or swim? (A side note: I venture to say that my mom never exercised because she had to escape from her village during the war by hiking — at night, by herself — over some seriously steep mountains. I think she just thought, "That's pretty much it for exercise for the rest of my life.")

As we pull up to church, my parents are laughing and humorously harassing each other. My dad is helping my mom out of the car. The boys are helping my dad help my mom. I let my parents walk ahead, and, as Dad guides Mom toward the church, ask myself, "Would I ever want two other people as my parents?" The answer is immediate: "Not me!"


-Culled from MSN.com

How to Attract Better Guys

- Culled from Cosmopolitan.com
Sometimes it's tough to spot a creep until it's too late. Here, Cosmo investigates how to suss out the losers and position yourself to meet Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now.


This past year, gorgeous actress Anne Hathaway's relationship with Rafaello Follieri famously crashed and burned when he was exposed as a con man.

In fairness to Anne, it's not always easy to tell whether a dude's truly charming and sweet or putting on an act. "Guys who have little integrity or may not be a good boyfriend long-term tend to be slick and evasive," says Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., author of Love in 90 Days. The following info will help you clue in better to lame guys, and lure in the good ones.

Spotting a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
If you've ever been duped by a less-than-stellar guy (as in, a perpetual mooch, a cheater, a liar) it's not necessarily that you're naive. It's that many times, we're attracted to the traits that cover up who the guy really is, according to Jessica Cassaday, Ph.D., and Ryan Browning Cassaday, co-authors of Stop Wondering if You'll Ever Meet Him. For example, he's super romantic right away. "Yeah, it's nice for you, but it's a sign that he's over-compensating," they say. "Men who claim they fell in love with you at first sight or pour on the charm immediately are often trying too hard to win you over, hiding the fact that they have no real potential to develop a relationship naturally."

Some other red flags to look for early in the relationship: He gets very cozy on the first date, becoming inappropriately touchy-feely; he's refreshingly talkative, but you realize he actually commands most of the conversation, rarely asking you questions about yourself; or he "futures" you on date one or two, using a sweet phrase like "someday we should drive to the mountains to see the snow" (this indicates lack of authenticity or a desire to sell something).

Reeling in the Good Ones
It's important to ask yourself whether you're unconsciously sending out signals that losers are picking up on. If so, you may need to change your frequency. For instance, most jerks will go after women who they suspect have low confidence and can be easily swayed. To entice motivated, kind, and faithful men, psych yourself up with positive self-talk before going out. "Research says that if you tell yourself you look hot in a dress or are having an amazing hair night, you'll have less anxiety and better self-esteem, which will in turn attract confident men who like strong women," Kirschner says.

In terms of location, there isn't one guaranteed place to stake out a good catch. But as cliché as it sounds, philanthropic events tend to attract honest, reliable, and commitment-ready types, according to experts. Or, hang out with your network of friends, family, and coworkers (instead of hoping to meet a random stranger at a bar) because that's how you're likely to connect with good guys who you'll gel with, Kirschner says.

One sign that a guy's a good catch? If he mentions he's close with his family. That means he's more apt to be a stable, loving person who wants to make a commitment, Kirschner says. Another trick to use once you've gone out a few times: Check out his apartment. If booze figures prominently and he's all about multiple flat screens and toys like video games and a pool table, he could be a player.

Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.


NB: anoda excerpt for da single ladies(lol)

Love Questions Every Guy Asks Himself

-Culled from Cosmopolitan.com

Its been AGGEESSSSS since I blogged...but I saw this really interesting article and decided to post it.....:-D....i'll be back in grand style again...SOOOONNNEEESSTTTTT!

Love Questions Every Guy Asks Himself
All men make internal queries at critical relationship moments to decide whether to stick around or stick a fork in it.
On a First Date
What's she like in bed?

If I don’t get laid tonight, will this end early enough for me to meet up with friends?

But...will I get laid tonight?

Is that a superultrawünderbra or are her breasts that incredible?

Does she think I’m funny?

Do I tell her she has a piece of lettuce stuck in her teeth or do I hope it works itself loose before she looks in a mirror and completely freaks out?

Does she always wear this much makeup?

Are lulls in the conversation first-date awkwardness or a sign that she has nothing to say?

Would doing this again be worth the time and money?


Before Getting Serious
Am I really willing to give up on other potentials for her?

Would I be proud to introduce her to my folks?

That girl I always see at the gym seems into me, so seriously, am I really willing to give up on other potentials?

Will my friends like her?

Will she let me see my friends?

Would I have fun if I took a long vacation with her?

Will I think her “charming quirks” are actually “annoying pathology” in six months?

At some point down the road, can I see myself perhaps beginning to maybe think about the chance that I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of marrying her?


Before Getting Married
I love the way things are, so will marriage change anything?

Is she gonna go bonkers while planning the wedding?

Will she eventually look as MILF-hot (or troll-like) as her mom does?

Can I handle her insane family for the rest of my life…and can she handle mine?

Will she be a good mother?

She may work now, but do I make enough money to support her and a family if I need to?

Will I ever be able to spend time by myself again?

Do I know I can count on her in a crisis?

Can I be happy never having sex with another woman for the rest of...my...life?


NB....Guys...is dis true????

Naija Talent

Eko Dialogue by Joy Isi Bewaji

The hustle and bustle of life in Lagos and the attendant drama, grit and fervour that characterize the people and different scenes in the city often leaves a newcomer and even some conservative long-timers breathless with wonderment. The irony of Lagos life is such that imprints on the mind of a keen observer the impressions of a city reeling with laughter and deep reflections.

Eko Dialogue captures this unique soul of life in the city in different episodic scenes that are aptly fast-paced that you almost feel the blares, toots and cynicism of Eko (Lagos) life literarily come alive and jump straight at you. Authored by Joy Isi Bewaji, Eko Dialogue is a satire of the modern realities in Eko and is written in a style that is at once fluid and compelling.


DIRECT DELIVERIES PLEASE CALL: 0702 – 808 – 9176
COVER PRICE N600.00 ONLY



NB
This is my way of appreciating d enormous potential resident in naija.....u go babes:-)

A bit tired..............

I've been browsing different websites...and I keep coming across one word that's beginning to crawl up my skin and dat word is CHEATING...we have articles like "Why He Cheats"...."When He Cheats"...."Is He Cheating"...."How to tell if he's cheating"....etc etc....I mean for God's sake is there NOTHING else to talk about? Am I to go through my entire dating life, married life hounding my man or husband to see if he's cheating or not??? and if UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM I discover he's Cheating, am I to dash back to the Internet to find dat article dat talks about why men cheat and bake him a cake as proof of my forgiving him and wanting to work things out? Or am I to run reporting him to his friends, parents, Pastor and even God to strike him with an electric bolt so dat next time he wont ever do it again? Now dont get me wrong I dont support Infidelity, but I expect that by now couples worldwide understand the reality and ugliness of cheating...d pain, fury and sorrow it causes, the emotional turmoils attached on both the "cheater" and the "cheatee"[couldnt think of anoda term].....etc etc...so can the world find something else to talk about? do we hear people trying to handle issues like violence, robbery, murder, serial killing, fraud, prostitution etc....the thing is infidelity is as bad as those vices mentioned above whether we want to admit it or not....and at the end of the day its up to you and me to decide whether the initial thrill and excitement of new "equipment" is worth the future tribulation awaiting you if and when discovered......
Have I said enough???? I think so.........

For d singles like moi....

10. Flirting is an attitude
A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic and positive—it works!

9. Start a conversation
The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help or state an opinion.

8. Have fun
Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.

7. Use props
Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you. Great props include dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion, interesting ties, hats or an interesting book or newspaper.

6. Be the host
Change your behavior from guest to host. You are not a passive person waiting around for romance; instead, you’re the welcome committee.

5. Make the first move
Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say hello.

4. Listen
You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.

3. Eye contact
Please look your partner in the eye gently (no more than a few seconds) and then glance away. Don’t stare—it’s a turn-off.

2. Compliment
Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The “flirtee” will know that you really noticed him or her. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When you receive a compliment, the best response is a simple “Thank you!”

1. Smile
It’s contagious. Smiling makes you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You’ll be a people magnet.


I guess dis applies to everyone doesn't it????

Happy Birthday(overdue)

Today I just realized that I neglected(not intentionally) my one year anniversary on blogsville....it's been sporadic but its been good......this also has been one year 'Studd'(formerly 'Zoe' then 'Bobo') and I have been together:-)...It's been a good since year 2007..the prayers and good wishes of a lot of people and the Mercy of the Almighty have preserved Studd for me....no accidents, no theft, no loss of life or property....I give God the Glory...so then...I look forward to a much more interesting, fun-filled, pleasant, exicting 2009 both on blogsville and with Studd and generally..

NB
this is not my last post for the year(lol)

Back from recess

wey dem wey dem wey dem????? lol...just got back from my leave and i spent it REEEEEEESSSSSSTTTTTTTTINNNNNNNNNG..which is wat i guess was really wrong with me den.....ave been in foul mood swings for such minor reasons as hunger pangs.....so maybe extra craving for physical rest could have reduced me to extra cravings to howl and sob(lol)......[hope dis english is correct o]...anyway..me leave was good, am back at work, and looking for $$$$$$$$$$$.....so dats it...wat y'all been up to bloggers?

and the problem is.............?

dunno wats wrong i jus feel dis urge to cry..u know jus lock myself up alone somewhere and let it rip!!!!!! y??? i have no idea i jus wanna do it...maybe its as a result of accumulated experiences one has had and tried to put behind her but somehow these things have a way of hiding in ur subconscious and occasionally whispering into ur concious(y'know?); maybe it's as a result of wanting something(s) and not seeing it(them) and asking y its so, wat u've done wrong? what u're doing wrong, y u havnt stopped what u're doing wrong? wen u'll stop what u're doing wrong, IF u'll stop what u're doing wrong....are u sure u're doing something wrong(sigh)...o well, der are always days like dat..lets hope i get past this phase quickly, cos i dont fancy being sad at all.....

OK on a lighter note ave moved to my own place now:-D(thank u thank u) above are a few pics of my abode....further tushing up will be done as time goes on:-D..i tell u moving aint easy at all but(hehehehe)... but its a sign dat things are looking up in life..we look forward to better days..wer d hell is my resolution list?????? and wer's afrobabe..bloggers pls tell her i miss her and her updates:-D(yes i confess am jus reading dem today)..in fact a change has come(lol)...am so getting online at home...and soon too....